I’ve not written anything in a while because well… nothing exciting is going on right now and of course, there was no way I was going to post anything last week during Chris’s week of rant. I can’t compete with that….
That being said….
School is out, Girl Scouts is almost done for a few months and we are bored spit less. Poor Becca, she’s not used to playing poor and she’s having a rough time. After all her hard work this year, she needs a little excitement this summer. Becca finished the school year with excellent grades and is actually looking forward to her final year as a middle school student. We’ve already signed up for community service this summer to help with her NJHS work and she’s already half way through her reading requirements for the summer. BORED BORED BORED….
I’ve finally found the money to order my business cards since making them was a major disaster(and embarassment) and we’re now working on passing them out with the hopes that SOMEONE needs a daycare provider soon. I’ve checked for jobs in the neighborhood either in daycare or data entry and NOTHING is close or no one is hiring UGH… Hopefully I’ll find something soon as I’m getting tired of sitting in this house with nothing to do.
I’ve finally come the conclusion that I need a girl friend (or boyfriend- as I’m not too picky). Someone I can call and talk to(and they have to be real good as I HATE PHONES), or hang out with on the couch and giggle and giggle. Someone (like me) that doesn’t have to ask permission to come over and hang out or play. It finally hit me today that I am sadly lacking in this area. Oh don’t get me wrong, I know I have lots of friends I can call and laugh with or cry on their shoulder, I don’t want any hurt feelings because I love you all dearly but I’m missing that…..thing…that BFF feeling you know- the kind you have in high school – but we won’t mention what happened to that BFF!! (sister but not blood sister type thing) One that will drop everything and run to the rescue and then not blab to the nearest ear that will listen. Not a “hubby” or “significant” other, a sis in law or bro in law… I need a BFF… so applications are now being accepted. Only the serious need apply <GRIN>
Last week sucked and I can’t explain why, don’t really know why.Well, as I write this now, I know why but then? I didn’t, couldn’t explain myself. Of course as soon as my mood plummeted Chris and I got into a fight. Why are you mad? Upset? Pissed Off? I’m not.. I’m just blah… You can’t talk to me, won’t talk to me.. There’s nothing to say, I’m just…blah.. WHY??? I don’t know… you won’t tell me… I DON’T KNOW!! And then the weekend is ruined because of it. How can you argue with a Chronic Depressant???Sucks.. I wanted to scream, cry, hit something, vent but I couldn’t..Not because of Chris.. because of me.. I needed someone out of the mix and though I had plenty of offers of shoulders, I just couldn’t let myself spew(wanted to hide in my room and sulk)sometimes I have too much control… I need to work on that or I’ll definitely go mad, I need someone not afriad of me to “FORCE” me to spew. Someone not afraid of my wrath! I just wished and wished and wished I could have called my mom. DAMN IT!
Now, I now Know why I was down but…How do you say to someone who is working his ass off, killing himself to support his family that I miss my daddy and Liz, that even though I sit at this house doing nothing day in and day out while he works his ass off, I’m sad because I can’t go and see my dad, can’t go and visit my mom’s resting place, can’t sit and hug Liz because I miss her so darn much, can’t play in Pennsylvania with the dogs and horses? How can I face him when I’m so selfish and nasty? Things will get better, either my business will take off or I’ll find that perfect job I’m looking for, I know that… but for the past 5 years I spent the month of June in PA with my dad and Liz and this year when I realized I couldn’t… I broke down… Now tell me.. HOW do you tell a wonderful man that knowing he’ll share your pain and kill himself trying to make you happier? UGH! It will all get better, it will all get better soon!
This week… well this week has just been one hilarious mix up after another and again.. I just wish I had a girl friend/boy friend I could have called or visited to giggle and giggle and giggle with. Oh I so need to let loose and get smashed LOL! Long story short because I’ll probably pee myself typing this out… It looks like my sister is going to jail on Monday. Previously I had written about Jeff getting arrested due to a “financial” issue and dad’s money with me as the banker had to bail his ass out of jail. Karen was afraid if she took the money to the Police Station, she’d be arrested so I spent the day down there bailing him out. Well, she called me Monday to let me know Jeff was going to drop off his final payment of dad’s money.. he never showed and never showed Tuesday. I called Karen last night and she informed me she received a letter from the state attorney stating she had 10 days to voluntarily turn herself in or they’d be coming after her. WARRANT ISSUED. Oh god, I couldn’t control myself. She’s so hysterical and I’m trying hard not to spew my coke all over my computer I’m laughing so hard. My response, “You are so totally fucked. I can’t even afford the “pot to piss in” and dad won’t give you a dime after the last issue.” She knows this, she didn’t need my saying it. She needed my compassion but only got my laughter. I’m SO SORRY!! I’m a terrible person I know! Anyway, she’s spoken with a lawyer and bail bondsman and will be turning herself in voluntarily on Monday as long as nothing happens over the next few days. Her lawyer is almost positive she’ll be processed but NOT put in general population. And the totall kicker… Monday is Elizabeth’s birthday!!! HAPPY 15th Birthday Liz, your present… Mom’s in JAIL.. OH GOD>>> I CAN’T HELP IT!!!! Can’t…. stop… laughing…. I’m such a terrible person as I wipe tears of laughter from my eyes! Becca is so ashamed of me.. Is this karma? Is this the past catching up to bite you in the ass?? Oh god, I’ve got 2 other people I’m so hoping I live to see it catch up to them too and I hope it’s this funny!
SUBWAY… Another hilarious mix-up but also kind of disappointment too.. After talking with Karen this morning, we decided to splurge a little and get a $5… $5.. $5 foot loooooooooooong.. For lunch. We go in, order our lunch and then go up to pay. The guy swipes my credit card about 10 times and then says, the machine is down. While the supervisor tries to fix the issue, she offers us a free cookie, free chips, free coke while we wait. We, being nice fair people, decline. We’re fine, no problem waiting. Five minutes later, the machine is down and the lady says, “Well ladies, congratulations, lunch is on me.” Oh no! We couldn’t do that.. I told her to hold our stuff, I’d run across the street to the ATM. I know, stupid, I should have taken it an run right? NOPE! I was raised a fool! So, I run to the nearest ATM, pay the $2.50 fee to get my money and then run back to the store to pick up my food in cash… OMG.. They charged me the full amount! I’m floored! Not even a discount for our time. We went from free items to a $2.50 sur charge and then full price for my meal. I know… I did it to myself, I should have just walked out the door when she said it was free. GEESH, you try to be nice and get no appreciation… So my “hot” sub is cold, my bread is soggy and my cokes are warm…As Rodney Dangerfield says… NO RESPECT! <GRIN>
And finally – Liz is heading to China next week. She’s so excited. We’re in negotiations with dad right now as to when Liz can come down here to visit. The deal was straight A’s on her report card or no Florida trip – last I heard she had 2 B’s… We’re wondering if he’s going to stand firm or let her visit. Becca is negotiating with dad, I told her it was her fight. She’s hoping for July 20th until August 31st – Becca turns 13 on the 30th and her only request is that Liz is here for the party. Don’t think she’ll win this battle but we’ll see. Dad is doing well, losing weight and getting healthier. My brother.. not so good. His body is slowly but surly breaking down on him. It looks like a serious trip to Atlanta needs to be scheduled. I haven’t seen him in 3 years and seeing him before he gets any sicker seems to overpower the pride and lack of money issue here. Before the summer is out, I’m heading up there to visit… even if I have to well… never mind the visual stopped me from typing that… UGH..
Summer sucks… but…Exciting Birthday get together this weekend and visit with Friends afterward, Girl Scouts next weekend along with an evening of poker here Saturday (If anyone is interested) and then a Sunday Birthday party/visit with friends. Who could ask for more? This is the most excitement we’ve had in months! And I’ll be getting out of the house without kicking and screaming!
Happy Early Father’s Day to all you dad’s out there! You guys are wonderful!
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