Fifty two bands, twelve hours in the sun, two excited girls, one dumb-assed dad… It was a very busy weekend (again). I took Friday off of work and took Becca and Liz to see the Vans Warped Tour in Orlando. They were excited to go because a lot of their favorite bands were going to be there. Of the 52 bands playing Friday, only one of them were in my music library and the girls had no interest in watching an “old guy” band like Bad Religion.
We showed up early but not early enough. Gates open at 11am, bands start playing at 11:30. We got there at 10am thinking there will probably be a line. We finally got inside at 12:30. The line was monstrous! The sun was shining and the heat was radiating back up from the parking lot, some people were already getting cranky in line and we hadn’t even gotten inside yet. After the first hour, we started seeing people strolling by, walking up toward the gates. Well, where we assume the gates were. From the end of the line you couldn’t see anything other than more line and more line and more line… But we start hearing people talking about how there is a large mob up front and the line is useless, just walk up front and get in. When we finally got the front, it was obvious that we could have done just that, probably should have. But I just hate those people that don’t obey the social rules like cutting to the front of the line when all the rest of us are waiting our turn, letting one car out in front of you as you merge lanes… There are rules man, we make them, we have to live by them…
The heat was unbearable. I have no idea what the official temperature was in Orlando on Friday but I can tell you that you can add more than a few degrees when you’re standing in a crowd of 500 people, compressed to the point where you’re almost one large body. Add in the exertion of jumping up and down, lifting bodies off of your head and passing them up front, no shade, repeat for twelve hours…
Overall I’d have to say I was highly impressed with the crowd and the bands. Everyone was pretty cool and I never felt like we had to be cautious of anything. Before we got there I warned the girls of how we need to be prepared in case there are any large fights or rioting. Nothing like that ever happened. This was the most polite crowd I’d ever seen at a rock concert. In fact, the only time I saw any scuffle was over a drumstick the band threw into the audience. Three kids were grappling for it and it looked like they were fighting. The parent in me wanted to take it from them and send them away as I hand it to their little sister or something… But it turned out they all knew each other and were just having fun.
I guess I was just prepared for a large outdoor show like the ones I’ve been to in the past and I expected to see some 20-30 participant fist fights and maybe some rioting and looting of the drink vendors… Nothing like that was even considered by these kids.
In fact, I was so comfortable with the atmosphere, that I took advantage of the “reverse daycare” tent. It was a tent with blower vent running inside to keep it cool, a big TV showing movies, chairs and free water; just for the parents. No kids allowed. The girls wanted to run around and locate all their bands and write down what time they were going on stage. I spent that twenty minutes catching my breath and cooling down. Unfortunately, the planning committee screwed up and located the reverse daycare tent right next to another promoter’s tent and they had a DJ rig set up. They weren’t even playing the bands that were at the concert, they were playing hip-hop and pop music at an ear splitting volume! The live bands were louder but somehow the DJ rig just bored a hole to the center of my brain. The movies were a good idea but you couldn’t hear the person sitting right next to you, let alone the TV. There were plenty of places they could have set up the adult tent where we didn’t have to hear the thumping dance music. It was so loud, I didn’t spend much time in there. I ventured back out into the heat just to escape Eminem and Lady Gaga… You couldn’t get away from the loud noises and the sun at the same time.
The only real problem I saw was the complete lack (or apparent lack) of organization. For such a huge event and for it to be around fifteen years, I expected a well planned and well laid out system. There were no maps, no plans, no schedules. It was like a scavenger hunt. There were probably 150-200 pop-up style tents. Each of the bands had one and the rest were vendors. All of them were custom painted and easy to identify who was at which tent. But it was blind luck to find the tent of who you wanted to see. You had to run around looking for the band’s tent. At the tent, they were selling merchandise or maybe the band was sitting there signing autographs. But somewhere in the tent there was a hand drawn sign telling you what time they were playing and on which of the seven stages. It was like a damn Easter egg hunt. There was a guy running around selling schedules for $2 but most of that information turned out to be wrong and outdated. Much later in the day we found a large wall with all seven stages listed and who was playing when. But by that point it was too late, we had already made our own list. Would have been nice to know it was there earlier though.
I don’t know if it’s another bad scheduling issue or if maybe they did it on purpose but I didn’t like that they scheduled many of the “bigger” bands in the same time slot. A couple of times the girls had to decide which band they were going to see because they were both playing different stages at the same time. Some of this might be dumb luck based on which bands the girls like but I wonder if maybe they do that to keep the crowd split? Maybe even to get some people over to see some of the smaller bands? Whatever the reason, I don’t like it. There were several bands that I had heard of and would like to have checked out but they were playing opposite each other and we had to choose one or the other. There was enough of a genre split in the band list that I imagine you could have scheduled it so that the three or four “big names” in each style played at different times.
The WORST idea I’ve ever seen was the naming of the stages. All seven stages were named after promoters and vendors. No map, no idea what stage was where. We had to walk around and get the lay of the land ourselves. So when the girls saw that one of their favorite bands was playing at “Hurley” in thirty minutes, we all made a bee-line for the place where we thought we saw the “Hurley” stage before. Sure enough, we get there and hanging behind the band is a huge banner proclaiming this stage as the “Hurley.com Stage”. There is another band playing while we fight our way to the front of the crowd to be front/center for the next band. The band finishes up, the crew breaks down and sets up the next band… It’s not the band the girls were there to see. We figure they’re just running behind schedule and wait for the next band. The next band isn’t them either… Later on, we find out there is a “Hurley” stage and a “Hurley.com” stage… So the girls missed out on one of their bands because they played at the same time as this one, but they also missed this band because we were at the wrong stage. If you aren’t a veteran of this particular venue or if you didn’t spend your days researching the past events on-line, how would you know that “Hurley.com” was not the “Hurley” stage? I think it was a fair assumption. Re-name the stages or post maps!
The bands were not my genre but they were good. Becca and Liz were happy with them and that’s all that really matters. But I was impressed with a few of the bands and actually bought a couple CDs off of iTunes as soon as we got home Sunday night. I would say that the live experience enhances something with these bands because of the three bands that I was impressed with enough to investigate further, two of them sound horrible on the CD. The third band is decent, but the CD still pales in comparison to their live performance. One band in particular, “Aiden” sounded incredible live but sounds like crap on their CD. I haven’t seen a frontman work the crowd as hard as this guy did in a long time. He was energetic, hyper and engaging. He got the kids into the songs and actually turned me into a fan. I didn’t agree with his assessment of his band as a “real” punk rock band, the music was tame and I didn’t really feel any depth to the lyrics. But something about how this guy put everything he had into the performance just made me appreciate his efforts enough to want to support the band.
There were bands of all kinds of different styles and shapes. The only real unifying factor that I noticed is that ALL of them really seemed to appreciate their fans. They all wanted that fan connection and it was as if they knew that these kids were the ones buying the CDs that were keeping them fed. Some bands forget that shit. None of these bands are big enough to forget that yet. While we were watching “A Day to Remember”, I kept thinking every song was the last one because the guy kept thanking and praising the audience between each song! It was nice to see bands remember where their money and fame comes from.
Underoath is one of the bands that I wanted to check out. They have a heavy sound and I like what they do, until the singing happens. The guttural screams and the crunchy guitars is right up my alley, but then we have a breakdown and they sing like little girls. Achhh, not for me man. But they were alright. They were the only band we watched that didn’t faun all over their fans but they still gave the audience credit, just not as much as the rest of the bands. Bigger name, I guess they’re not as hungry as some of the smaller bands. Hell of a live performance though. It was one of the first bands we saw and Liz didn’t know what to expect. I asked her before we started if she had ever seen a live show where people were crowd surfing and pitting. She said yes but when Underoath started playing and the crowd exploded, her eyes told me she had never seen any such thing. She was scared out of her wits. To be fair, we were getting our asses kicked. Becca will never admit it but I think she was relieved when Liz tapped out and asked me to get them out of there after the third song. It was a rough crowd. Fun!
The crowd was amazing and fun to be a part of. The girls wanted to be as close to the front/center as I could get them for every damn band! So I made a path and got them on the front barrier or within two to three people away. The bands would start playing and I’d turn around and watch the crowd for the body surfers. As they’d come our way (at a rate of about two a minute) I’d put my hands up to keep them off the girls’ heads. Some of these kids weren’t body surfing, they were launched into the crowd by their friends. When your neck takes the sudden and full impact of a 140 pound body, it fucking hurts! The rest of the kids in the area started to appreciate the warning, they asked Becca and Liz if I was their bodyguard.
Becca noticed that when I was passing a guy overhead I’d grab his body and push. When it was a girl, I’d use the backs of my hands or my elbows to support her weight as others passed her overhead. I told Becca it was because girls were lighter but really when you’re passing bodies, you have no idea where your hand is going to end up most of the time. And with 150 cell phone cameras in the crowd, all I need is someone to snap a shot of my 36 year old hand inadvertently in a “bad touch” place on a 17 year old girl… I just tried to stay out of the way and let everyone have fun, but I was there to protect my girls.
It was so cute to see these kids starting a pit. The circle would open up and five or six people would start circling. After a few minutes it would close again. I never did see anyone get their nose bloodied. These kids thinking they were “moshing it up” and really being tough… it was adorable! I stayed on the pit wall because honestly, I’d do some serious damage to these kids if I got into the pit. Plus, I’m the old guy. No one wants to see the old guy mix it up with these young kids… One guy decided to get a bit rough and I was watching him to see how hard he was. There are rules to a pit, he didn’t obey the rules and he got hurt. Rule #1; When someone hits the ground, everyone picks them up immediately. Becca fell once and before I could reach her, three people were already grabbing her arms and pulling her to her feet. Another rule is to pick on someone your own size or bigger. A big guy might slam a small guy, but you don’t go out of your way to aim for them. Normally you run in a circle, running into the wall of the pit, smashing anything in reach. So when this guy started making full speed lines across the circle instead of glancing blows off the walls, I knew he was going to be trouble. He hit a few kids and knocked them off their feet. This seemed to fuel him and he got rougher and rougher. He ran around looking for his next target. He’d spot a kid who wasn’t watching, cross his arms in front of him and charge, running full steam and plowing the kid to the ground. Not how I’d want it done but hey, just about everything’s fair in a pit. So when Mr. 6’2” locked his eyes on my 4’11” Lizzy, I watched carefully. He positioned himself across the pit from her and crossed his arms. When he started his charge, I waited until he was fully committed and past the point of no return. I took one step to my left and thrust my elbow out, just above Lizzy’s head and at a slight downward angle. He took my elbow dead center in his chest and just below the neck. He bounced off me and floated several feet to the left. We never saw him the rest of the show. Hey, just about everything’s fair in the pit… Rules baby, obey them and you will survive.
Oh, and did I mention it was hot!? Man, I’ve been hotter, but never for that long. You can only stay in an attic for so long. My face is blistered with sunburn and my clothes were soaking wet with sweat the entire day. Water was $3 a bottle and that’s not too bad for a large event. I underestimated how much cash I’d need and went through all of my stashed money buying water for the girls. We had Gatorade twice and Lemonade once, but the rest of the day was water, water, water… I knew I wasn’t getting enough liquids but I tried to tough it out, hoping to keep the girls hydrated. We planned on this concert all summer but probably wouldn’t have been able to afford it until Becca’s uncle Jerry bought the tickets for her birthday. So money was tight and I was trying to make sure the girls didn’t notice. I almost got away with it… until the final concert of the night. Fail!
We fought our way to the front/center of the main stage for the last two bands. I made it through the first of the two but I was getting weaker and could feel it. I needed water but couldn’t leave the crowd or I’d never get back to the front. So I toughed it out. After several minutes I could feel that familiar “gonna throw up” feeling and I could almost feel my brain boiling. The last few remaining neurons and synapses were screaming at me, telling me that not only was I going to get sick, but I was also real close to dying! The final band was still setting up and it was one of the ones Lizzy really wanted to see. I hated to leave but I had to get out of there like ten minutes ago. I asked the girls if they were alright where they were and told them to meet me at stage right after the show. I turned and barely got out of there alive. I could barely form words and a lot of my “excuse me” turned into incoherent mumbles. When I finally broke free of the throng, I walked about ten feet to where the edge of the grass met the asphalt, sunk to my knees and breathed. I remember being happy that the sun was going down and that some storm clouds were rolling in. I also remember thinking that I only had a single dollar left and couldn’t afford a bottle of water. I looked at the drain runoff in the middle of the road and wondered if I could drink that. I woke up about ten minutes later, surrounded by people on all sides of me. The crowd gathered for the final band and I was lying in the midst of them. A very young girl bent over and asked me, “Sir, are you alright, do you need some water?” I apologized and got out of the way. I got scared and realized how close I had come to possibly getting hauled away in an ambulance, leaving the girls to wonder what the hell happened to me…
The girls got out of the crowd before the last band took the stage. As the crowd grew, they got scared of just how rough the final show of the evening was going to get. It worked out for the best. Liz got to truly enjoy her band from the back of the crowd. You can’t hear them as well when you’re right up on the front barrier and you can’t hear a thing when there are bodies piling up on you. We watched from the back as whoever was front/center was getting pummeled.
Becca found a wallet on the ground. I opened it up to see the ID and shout the guy’s name around, but I never looked in the back to see if there was any money in it. The guy never answered so we turned the wallet over to a security guard. I’m happy that I don’t know if it had any money in it or not. If it had enough money for a bottle of water in it, would I have been tempted?
I apologized to the girls for leaving them and told them how dangerous it was to push it to the limit when you were out in the sun all day. That I was a picture perfect example of how you need to keep hydrated. (Hey, why not have them learn something useful from my failures…?) I felt like a weakling, I knew I had been the big, rough guy at hundreds of concerts before, why couldn’t I handle it today? Have I gotten so old that a concert kicks my ass now? But then the girls reminded me that I held my own seven or eight times that day. That I was in the sun twelve hours and worked hard the whole time keeping them safe. They smiled at me and thanked me for a good day out.
So I smiled and I then swore them to secrecy about my failure, there was no reason Teresa needed to know how stupid I was. Then they immediately told Teresa everything that happened the very first time I turned my back… I guess I knew that would happen. I did a stupid thing, but it was in an effort to keep the girls hydrated and ignorant of the fact that I didn’t have the cash to show them a good time. Well, I almost pulled it off, if it weren’t for that last bottle of water…
We got to the car and I drank all five bottles of water from the trunk. They were in the sun all day and were just short of boiling but I was happy to have them. We got back to the hotel, had a wonderful night telling Teresa the events of the day (this is apparently when Becca and Liz ratted me out…) Then we spent Saturday and Sunday over at Mom and Dad’s with my nephews. It was a busy week but it was fun. My sunburned face is already flaking and I look like someone is taking the skin off their baked chicken breast…
The funniest part of the entire trip? At lunch on Saturday, the day after the concert, I consider a Gatorade but decide on water. Liz tells me that I should have had the lighter color Gatorade because she heard the darker colors don’t work as well. As I started to wonder if this could possibly be true, Becca says, “Yeah, I still have half the bottle from yesterday in my backpack.” So this means that yesterday, as I lay dying in a ditch, seriously considering putting my face in the gutter to drink the drain water, Becca is standing next to me with half a bottle of Gatorade in her backpack. I guess it was my fault for not asking…
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