Me: Uber-director

I will write, direct and edit a movie.  The following rules will apply:

The bad guy’s army will be competent marksmen.

I will have aliens that land on Earth ANYWHERE other than in America.

There will not be a six digit “backdoor” code to highly secure government computer systems.

I will have the protagonist be a twin, but have it mean absolutely NOTHING to the plot.

The good guys will smoke too.

I will avoid hamfisting the audience with “this is the bad guy” type of music.

Televisions and radios will not immediately tell you what you tuned in for.

I will not use shakey-cam to look artsy and pretentious.

No one will head anyone off at the pass.

I will not use black/white or sepia tones for flashback sequences.

An actor will occasionally cough and it will not indicate a terminal illness.

There will be a car chase, but one of them will run out of gas for once.

I will not cast a supermodel as the protagonist’s love interest.

Anyone cast as a guitar player will not have a paralyzed left hand.

I will not cast British actors as Nazis or as the Evil Empire.

The moon will be in the waning gibbous phase, not perfectly full or dark.

I will film a dramatic space battle and pull the audio feed for all external shots.

The bomb will continue to count down to “00:00″ even if the blue wire is cut.

The female lead will know how to disengage the safety on the pistol.

When the bad guy dies, the good guy will make sure he STAYS dead.

There are more rules to come, this is just the beginning…