Tired. Oh sure, physically I’m exhausted but that’s not what I meant. Been up since 2:30am so I can leave bright and early (dark and early?) for North Carolina. Raleigh/Durham. I haven’t seen the city yet because I’m holed up in the hotel room still working at 10pm. They’re gonna shit when I put down an 18 hour day for today…
No, I’m just tired of this road. I’m burning out fast and running at a wall. This sucks. For all the traveling I’ve done, all the scenery is through a windshield and all the airports look the same. This morning I saw a flipped truck on the side of the road. I wondered how long before that’s me down there. All these miles I’ve put on the road and not so much as a flat tire? It’s just a matter of time. And when it happens, it’ll be big won’t it? A few miles down the road, a coyote ran out in front of me and I was that much closer to dying in a ditch, alone on some stretch of highway.
I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve got stuff in my head to write but no NRG to type it out. I’ve got some expense reports to fill out and activity logs to write up. I’m not going to get to them tonight. I’ve done enough. Going above and beyond only gets rewarded with more bullshit. I wish I were wired differently, I wish I had it in me to just… give… up.
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