I listen to a podcast called “The One Minute How-To”. They have various topics that people try to give 60 seconds of info about. I just started listening to this about two or three weeks ago so I’m catching up on old shows. One of the early ones was “How to order at Starbucks”. Well, you all know how I feel about that place and those people but I sat up and listened, waiting to see what the story is. Of course before it even started I was thinking, “You shouldn’t need a tutorial to order coffee!” But I’ll listen anyway. Maybe I’m missing something about the whole Starbucks experience. Maybe it’s ME that’s wrong. It’s easy to pick on the trendy Starbucks crowd, everyone does it. Is it possible that in my attempt to avoid the trends, I have joined the trend to Starbucks-bash? Maybe I’ll turn over a new leaf. Maybe I’ll join the Starbucks crowd. Is it possible that what this guy has to say could revolutionize my thinking and negate my inherent hatred of the vacant-minded trenders?
Two seconds into the guy’s spiel and I already don’t like the sound of his voice. Ten seconds in and he’s gaining momentum. 30 seconds in and he’s running full-bore and his words are starting to run together. This guy has had too much coffee! After his 60 seconds are up, I am more convinced that the end of the world will be brought about by some asshole carrying a Starbucks cup. Not some suspicious Muslim, not some crazed Russian, not some power-mad Army General, but Todd and Gina the soccer parents, with kids named Dakota or River or Brandon. I don’t know how they’ll do it but mark my words; Armageddon will be caused by something that only requires one hand. The other hand will be holding an “Iced vente mocha-raspberry tazo chai latte with extra foam and with room.”
Maybe that one-handed task will be something simple, like driving a car. Who needs two hands or full concentration for that? This morning, my FAA rep (Steve) was hit from behind at the off ramp. He looks in the rear view mirror and there’s some moron trying to juggle a cell phone and a coffee while driving. Now I am guilty of “multi-task-driving” myself. I have the coffee (home brewed, not Starbucks) every morning. I take cell phone calls while driving. I click over to the next podcast on my iPod. But I do all of these things when there’s room and time. There are days that I don’t get to the coffee until it’s cold because traffic was too heavy for me to safely drink the coffee. I wait until I’m on the highway and with no cars in my immediate area before I start rooting around in my iPod for a specific song. And if the cell phone rings and traffic is anything more than freerunning, I’ll just let the call go to voice mail. I thought everyone did this. Are there really people out there that think the car is driving itself? Your car is not an office. Drive the car, worry about the other stuff when you have time. If you didn’t plan ahead enough to allow for time, then tough shit, do without!
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