“By the way, which one’s Pink?”
We play this really cool game called “Riff”. It’s a bunch of music trivia questions and we have a lot of fun. Every round there is a “ping-pong” round where they throw out a category and each team throws out answers in turn until one team is out of viable answers. These rounds have gone on for over an hour and every one of them has caused bloodshed because it is up to us to decide what an acceptable answer is. Fred and Kasey also have the game and they have reported the same problem.
The category is “Bands that begin with the letter O”. One of my answers was “Ozzy Osbourne”. They refuse to allow it as an answer. They say Ozzy is a person and not a band. I say that once that name is used to identify the band in total, it counts as a band. If you go buy “Diary Of A Madman” in the store, it is filed under O. The name on the CD says Ozzy Osbourne. The band performs under the name “Ozzy Osbourne”. Unless it’s a reverse karaoke CD where you only here Ozzy singing, the band falls under that title. They disagree.
People that are well known and name their bands after themselves often have revolving band member syndrome. They wanted to use that against me. OK, then does “KISS” or “Guns n’ Roses” count as bands? Of course they do. They have new line-ups and there is certainly a megalomaniacal center of the band. Some people that are well known actually have a name for their band. “Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band”, “James Brown and the Famous Flames”, “Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine”. On them, I’d agree, the band has a separate identity from the singer. But I’ve never heard of “Ozzy Osbourne and the Headless Doves”.
What about “NineInchNails”? Band? But it’s one guy. He hires a band when he goes out on tour but he plays/records everything on the CD. A one-man-band, but still a band. Now if he recorded under the name “Trent Reznor” would he still be a band? Nothing changed but the name, is he a band?
So, I posed the following scenario to Fred:
Imagine everyone in the room is in a band. We call the band “XYZ”. Are we a band? Of course the answer is yes.
Imagine everyone in the room is in a band. We call the band “Fred Mitchell”. Are we a band? The answer was no. Bands named after people are not bands?
What about “Lynyrd Skynyrd”?
Well, if we go that direction, they’ll start throwing “Madonna” and “Celine Dijon” at me. In order to head that one off, Heffner suggested The Bus Rule. The bus rule states, “If the band members travel on the same bus as the singer, then they are a band. If the singer travels alone, they are not a band.” I like this rule. You know damn well Madonna isn’t riding on the same bus as the people playing the music. According to the bus rule, Madonna is a singer, Ozzy is a band because although he might not travel with the band every time, we have all heard stories about Ozzy and the band on the bus and that means I win the argument, I win the game. I love instituting rules that back me up; It’s good ta be da King!
Speaking of “the King”, I have another point to make and this one is AGAINST me. See, I’m fair (kind of). I’ll throw out a name, you tell me who it is:
Elvis
Who did you come up with? If you said Elvis Costello I want you to close your browser window, open up your “Favorites” and “Cookies” folders and delete any reference to this webpage. Go away and simply don’t come back. There is only one person allowed to go by simply, “Elvis”. Love him or hate him, he’s Elvis.
That being said, I’m feeling guilty because in one of the rounds, the category was, “Artists That Go By One Name”. I slipped Elvis through and I’m not so sure he counts. He had (and used) a full name. Record stores file his music under “P”, I think I should have been told no on that one. But I wasn’t so, I still win!
I’m not usually much of a braggart when I win a game, I normally just smile and have fun. But this game is cut-throat and vicious. I will proclaim my victory from the peaks of the mountains!
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