Star Wars III (part 6) opens tonight. I may take Becca for a ride a look at all the freaks lined up outside the theatres. I didn’t think we’d have any here in Jacksonville but the news is reporting that we do. I’d love to actually go see the movie but if I have to sit next to a wookie, someone is going to die. I’m a huge Star Wars fan from way back. I could go on and on but luckily for you, I won’t. As big a fan as I am, the only time I ever dressed up as a Star Wars character was for Halloween when I was 8 or 9. I really want to go see it, I just don’t want to be collectively lumped in with these “fans”. I’ll wait a week or so until it’s safe.
Some of the Darth Vader mystique is gone. I used to be impressed by him. Even after they took his mask off in Jedi and revealed a feeble, crusty old man, it fit the part. He was a big scary villain and I loved him for it. Now, I see Hayden Christensen and he’s not 7′ tall. He’s not even scary or likeable. He’s a crappy actor and now that I know he’s the one behind the suit, it’s lost some of it’s magic. That and the fact that they have him staring down the Burger King in commercials…. Not that David Prowse was much of an actor but we never saw him. (BTW, he was the body guard for the writer guy in the wheelchair in A Clockwork Orange just before the “Singing In The Rain” scene) I’m just afraid that even James Earl Jones’ voice can’t make up for the fact that Hayden is such a wimp and we all know it.
I’m looking forward to the movie. It must have been difficult to write this part of the story. He had a beginning and an end already, he just had to throw some things in the middle to make them match. Kill off characters that are in #2 and not in #4 and introduce characters that are in #4 but not in #2. Do you think we’ll be lucky enough to see Jar-Jar drawn and quartered? Maybe the ship crashes and they are stranded. Suddenly, Anakin finds a cookbook for Gungan meat! OK, maybe not. It’s a predictable movie, we know what has to happen, we can even expect how he’s going to pull it off. The trailers show exciting scenes but we know they are teasers. You can’t fool us George, we’ve seen #4 already, Obi Wan doesn’t die in #3!
Just show the love turning to hate going on in Anakin, kill off Padme (please?), give the people their “Harry Potter” scene where Obi Wan delivers the infant Luke and Leia, kill off most of the Jedis, show the decisive battle where Anakin gets disfigured and end the film with Vader bowing to the emperor or something. I mean come on, anyone who’s seen the other films could have written this one. In any case, I hope I enjoy it.
OK, as long as I’m complaining already, I have an observation that needs a believable answer. According to the dialogue, the Millennium Falcon jumps into light speed to travel through hyperspace. Blue ‘flames’ shoot out the back and away they go. Very cool looking and I’m willing to suspend disbelief for this so far. The problem comes when they get where they are going. Again, according to the dialogue they just cut the sub-light engines. Well, wouldn’t they continue to coast along at that same speed? What slows them down? There are no retro-rockets on the front of the Falcon. They’d have to turn 180 and fire the engines again wouldn’t they? And another thing, why do the stormtroopers bother to wear the armor if they get killed in one shot anyway? Sorry, had to get them out, I know better than to question the physics of a fictional realm….
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