I’ve been restless recently. I want to do something, I just don’t know what it is yet. I am tired of being stagnant all in the name of money. I am sitting here all day trapped in a lousy job simply because I have become accustomed to the money. I am afraid to shake things up and take those chances. I want to buck the system and drop out. I want to make changes. I want to be someone else, I want to be myself.
I can see that I am getting closer to throwing my hands in the air and just living for the moment. I can also see that I will never actually reach that point though. I have to plan carefully. I can not take those chances without plotting a course. I am a navigator who wants (but is afraid) to cut the rudder free and let the winds take me where they will.
I have come to where it is possible. I just need to make that leap. I need to trust in myself and those around me. I must give up my controlling nature and allow nature to control me.
I’m confused. Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? Why do I despise what I am becoming? Why do I feel that making these changes are too risky? Why am I asking you?
OK, thanks for letting me get that out. I feel better, now back to our regularly scheduled life.
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