Thanksgiving trip 2004
I thought I had planned my trip a little better this time. I was wrong. First of all, no matter how well you plan for it, flying on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving will NEVER go right! The flight was scheduled for 5:55p, connect in Atlanta and land in Pittsburgh at 9:30p. I got to JIA at 4:00. Early enough to sit there with a cup of coffee and relax; I didn’t want to be one of those “late people”. I cruised through security. They did want to look twice at my sack of change. When he opened it up and saw the deck of cards with it he just smiled and asked, “Poker money?” I guess to an x-ray machine a sack of pennies could look like shrapnel. I got to the gate and sat down. As more and more people came in it looked like I had the system beat. I just sat there in the seat with the best view, a cool drink and 10.7 days worth of music on my iPod. This is how we’re supposed to travel, this is how it’s supposed to work I thought. Then the flight delay went up. 7:00. OK, not too bad. It’ll be cutting my connection in Atlanta close (8:00) but I can still make it if the gates are close. Anyone who ever went through Hartsfield Airport knows that the connecting flights are ALWAYS as far apart as they can make them…
Another delay, 7:20… 7:45…
I finally made it onto the plane at 8:00. They make the announcement to turn off all portable electronics until we reach 10,000 feet. I do as I’m told even though it’s a bunch of bull. The flight attendant gets bitchy with me because I left my headphones plugged into my ears (I was planning to turn it back on after they announce it’s OK). I told her it was off and she still got upset at me. I showed her the iPod and she said, “How do I know it’s off?” I said, “You don’t.” She gave me a scowl and moved on. I already have a problem with this policy anyway and now I have a problem with her.
I refuse to believe that any yokel can walk into a Wal-Mart with $20, buy a Walkman, and crash a 767 by using it in-flight during take offs and landings! If these planes are really that sensitive, we’ve got bigger problems than we thought. I can see it now, the “terrorists” will all go out and buy CD players and get on a flight. When their synchronized watches all hit zero, they all turn on a Cat Stevens CD and down we go, right?! NO, I don’t think so. 30 years ago unshielded RF interference may have been a problem but now they’re just trying to piss me off. That’s right, me. She got up that morning, looked over the flight itinerary, picked me out and said, “What can I do to really mess with him?” Bitch.
I had a cool conversation in flight with the guy next to me. I noticed he was reading a book written in Arabic and making notes in the margin. I was fascinated and kept watching him jot down notes in Arabic and English. He was a student and it was a book one of his professors wrote. I told him that I’ve never actually seen anyone write in Arabic and that and that I though it was cool. I asked him to translate a phrase from English to Arabic. He wrote it down for me. For all I knew it could have said, “This guy’s a jackass and won’t leave me alone”, but I thought it was cool.
We land in Atlanta at 9:00. The guy at the gate (Gate A) is hollering out connection gate numbers. Pittsburgh, Gate E. Of course, as far as possible. Some guy asks me what gate he said for Pittsburgh, I tell him and off we go doing the mad dash through Hartsfield trying to make a flight that was scheduled to take off before we left the ground in Jacksonville. I guessed that it MIGHT be delayed… I guessed right. After running my fat little body as fast as I could go, Gate E27 tells us that our flight is still here and scheduled to leave at 10:20. An hour and a half to kill.
I went and sat in the sports bar. It was near impossible to find a seat but the waiter called me over to a table as people were leaving. The guy was pretty cool playing like he was a butler or something. I told him to bring me a double and he brought out a guy that looks just like me (sorry, couldn’t resist). I downed it before he turned around and I ordered another. When he came back I ordered a chili-burger and another double. And another. When I was done, I told him to bring me a Beck’s Dark, and a double. I knew that I could have bought 2 full bottles for the price I was paying but full bottles were not available to me at the time. I threw him a $20 tip and walked out. I still had an hour to kill but now I didn’t care. I cleared a space on the floor and leaned up against the wall (with everybody else) and just zoned out listening to my music. I did get a little upset when I saw that all that running and sweating made the ink run on the Arabic writing that guy did for me. Now it’s just a blue blur. Oh well.
Flight delayed until 10:40; I didn’t care. Yet another delay, 11:00; I just smiled. My method worked!
The flight was so rough they didn’t even bring out the drink service. I stopped caring about turbulence about my second flight that hit it. I figure there’s nothing I can do to stop it and if we crash, so what. The only thing I can do about it is not get on the plane in the first place. I just sit there and realize that as soon as I strap myself in, whatever happens, happens. My fellow passengers apparently don’t feel the same way. Panic and fear all throughout the plane while I just sit there with a smile, the alcohol may have helped too. I actually heard someone behind me throw up. I hadn’t heard that on a plane before. A new first for me. Pretty soon the plane smelled of sweat, vomit and piss. What can you do? The only thing I keep thinking is I’m glad Teresa isn’t on this flight, she’d probably never fly again. I swear when we landed the wing almost hit the runway.
We land in Pittsburg at 12:15. Jerry has been waiting on me since 10:30, so much for plans. 2 bottles of wine and a half bottle of ginger brandy later, we arrive at the house around 3:30am. I am succeeding in my aspirations of becoming a raging alcoholic…
I awoke the next morning to falling snow and the ground was already white. That’s what I’m there for; the scenery. Beautiful. I really love the cold weather. We hunted, played poker and visited family and friends. We may have also done some more drinking somewhere in there too. The stories they tell up there get better every year.
When we visited Annabelle I went into the house and sat down while everyone else was still getting out of the truck. She was in the kitchen reaching for the stove and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee. Figuring she had some on the stove and wanting to sit and talk with her, I said I would. She turned around reached under the counter and pulled out the coffee maker. I told her not to go through the trouble that I thought she had some already made but she insisted. Of course, by the time the coffee was ready, all of us had cups with saucers, the milk was in a little pourer and there was a plate of cookies (pumpkin-raisin). Imagine 4 UGLY guys dressed in hunter orange and 1 refined lady sitting down to what amounts to “Allegheny Mountain High Tea”.
They all poked fun at me as the “new modern hunter”. Cell phone coverage is spotty at best and even then only on the main roads. Well we were out in the woods gun-in-hand and my cell phone rings. I answer it and I end up talking to Freddy for 10 minutes. (He thought I was still in town and wanted to know if I was going to the Slayer concert) No phone coverage at the house but I had 3 bars while I was deep in the woods. Go figure.
JR likes to run his dogs to get rabbits. This time we were in a long line, JR to my left with the dogs, little John to my right and Jerry beyond him. After a long wait, the dogs start yipping and I hear 2 shots and JR yell, “It’s coming towards you!” Right about that time I saw it coming and raised up my shotgun. I got three shots out and the thing ran right past me. John got the final shot and I think the rabbit died of shock. I was wondering if maybe JR and I were shooting blanks because I’ve never seen a rabbit take an artillery barrage like that. Next time I’ll use the ‘Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch’. Later on a neighbor asked if we got them all; I had to admit to him it was just one rabbit.
No one had a deer as of 1:00 Monday when I left for the airport to come home. No delays coming back and Thom picked me up at the airport right on time. 11:30 on a Monday night all because he insisted on picking up my truck from the airport so I didn’t have to pay for parking. Isn’t he the coolest?
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