Cruise of Doom

I went looking for information on what happens to you when you die while on a cruise ship. A lot of old people go on cruises, some of them die. I’m not asking about the mass illness or poisonings, just old Aunt Millie having a heart attack or a stroke.
It seems that no one wants to talk about that. There is very little information about on-board morgues and such. This is what I have found out though.

About 20 people a year die on cruises in Alaskan waters. That’s the only numbers I could find. No stats from elsewhere in the world.
Depending on their size, most cruise ships have an all-purpose room which doubles as a pantry, a holding cell and morgue. It’s normally in a compartment next to the ship’s clinic. The morgue normally has between 1 to 3 “body coolers”.
There’s no standard, The Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) is half the size of the Queen Mary 2 but has double the morgue capacity (8).
Your body will not be kept on board longer than necessary. They will not “bring you home”. When they reach the next port, there are doors on the opposite side of the ship (away from the gangplanks and tourists) that open up and a small boat is used to ferry the body to a private dock, far away from the tourists.

Carnival Cruise Lines actually hung up on me when I called them to ask about this. I guess no one ever dies while on their cruises….

I want to cruise on ships that are already dead and buried