Firebomb the rednecks!

I had two events happen at the same gas station last week.  They weigh heavily on my mind every time I drive by now…

We moved from Arlington to the Northside of Jacksonville.  Technically it’s a new area called Cedar Point but it’s nothing but Oceanway-East.  For those of you not from around here, Oceanway is the redneck-bigoted-trailer park side of town.  It is not unusual to see a pickup or Camaro on tires that are taller than our SUV.  Confederate battle flags are the norm around here.  Luckily we don’t have any of that in our development (yet) but if we want to go to the store or get gas, we’re in Oceanway no matter what they call our new neighborhood…  They’re making headway on cleaning up the front and back sides of Oceanway but this gas station falls in the middle and its just redneck-central every time I drive by.

So last week I was getting gas in the truck and in a can for the lawnmower.  A big land-yacht of a car with a gigantic cross hanging from the mirror pulls in to the air pump.  I’m still filling up with gas and I watch a little old lady get out of the car and attempt to put air in her tires.  I hear her small voice ask for help from a couple walking by her and they ignore her.  She asks another gas pumper if they know how to work the air pumps and they just walk away…  So I tell her I’ll be over in a minute, as soon as I finish pumping my gas.

I get over there and I fill the tire.  I notice the wall is bulging and I tell her that she should take it to a tire shop immediately.  Do not get up on the highway, don’t even drive home.  Just take it to the shop because the tire could go at any minute.  She is happy that I helped and as I stand up she thanks me and says, “God bless you.  Nice Christian boy like you taking the time to help a little old church lady like me.  Your parents must be proud of you.”  Well, normally I’d just smile and walk away.  But something in me (probably the fact that she worked Christianity into the ten second exchange three times…) just thought I should make a point here, that Christians haven’t cornered the market on being nice…  So I say, “No problem ma’am, glad to help.  Just for the record, I’m not Christian, I’m Atheist and as far as I can tell, my parents are proud of me.”  She looked at me as if I had just told her that I had the plague, AIDS and mono all in one. She says, “Well, isn’t that nice…” and hurriedly gets in her car.  I hear the doors lock before I hear the engine start.

Roll time forward one week.  The Wednesday I’m leaving for festival…  When I drive I keep my music loud.  When I pull up next to someone at a stop light, I turn it down.  So I’m driving along and enjoying a band called “Orishas”.  Imagine Cuban rap.  This particular song (A Lo Cubano) has a few spots in it where the music is subdued and the lyrics come out real loud and clear.  I drive up past the gas station and there is a large truck making a turn so traffic comes to a stop.  I haven’t turned down the music because I’m not really at a stop, just waiting for the road to clear.  Across the street there is a fat redneck woman stereotype selling fruit off the tailgate of her pickup truck.  She shouts at my open window, “This is America, go home you god-damned Puerto Rican!”

I immediately turn my head, fill my lungs with air to shout at the dumb bitch, open my mouth… and nothing happens.  I just had no response for this kind of idiocy.  I wanted to stop the car and educate her, I wanted to stop the car and beat the shit out of her parents for raising such an inbred hick, I wanted to scream obscenities, I wanted to scream something witty…  Nothing came to mind.  I just couldn’t process this bullshit.  I drove home in stunned silence.  When I got home I told Teresa the story and without skipping a beat she said I should have turned and said, “Que?”

I’m amazed that we’re still alive.  As a race of beings, the humans have repeatedly demonstrated not only the need to be eliminated but also the desire.  We’re actively trying to differentiate and kill off others of our species.  I just can’t believe how fucking dumb some of us are.