12 Days of Chris-miffed:02

Black Friday.

I’m not a fan of  people in general, I hate crowds, I hate shopping.  Yet every year, people ask me where I’m going on Black Friday.  You know where I’m going?  I’m going into a turkey and egg-nog overindulgence induced coma.  I’m going to sleep until noon and I’m going to sit around and watch “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” while you’re out fighting the crowds.

And isn’t that really the only reason you go?  You want to have the horror story to tell everyone back at work on Monday.  “Oh the crowds were terrible!”, “I camped out for twelve hours to save six dollars on a $300 leather handbag.”

I’m not talking about the occasional shoppers who will see a great deal in the paper and make the decision to brave the crowds and pick up that one item and get back home to bed…  I’m talking about the shallow souls who think shopping is a sport.  I have friends that are included in this group, I have family that are included in this group.  I don’t care.  Half of you are disappointed because you fell for the bait and switch advertising, the other half of you are disappointed because you jumped over three dead shoppers, kicked a small child and punched an old lady to get to the counter first and still missed out on that great deal because you neglected to read the fine print (only two available)…

And now they’re pushing for the term “Cyber-Monday” to catch on.  No.  I’m sick of it already.

Consumerism is a good thing but you people are overdoing it.  The only reason “people going to the mall” should ever be the lead news story is when we are either living in a utopia where there is no real news to report or because the zombie apocalypse has finally occurred and George A. Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead” is coming true.