Fred brought this one over. He’s gun-shy about watching movies with me because I’m an asshole. Years ago, he loved “The Crow” and couldn’t wait to get me to watch it. I MST3K’d it the whole time, tearing it apart, ruining it for him. To this day, Crowing a movie is an actual term between us. So, understandably, he’s always unsure how I’ll react to a movie. I try not to be such a dick anymore but hey, it’s in my nature…
I really liked this one though. It didn’t stop me from making my comments, but they were short and funny. The recurring comment from me was, “I fucking hate this guy. He found a way to get paid to go around the world, hang out with rock legends and heroes, and I didn’t think of it first!!!” The premise was simple. The film maker was a metal fan, went to college for Anthropology, and decided to study the subculture of metal. The difference between this movie and most other documentaries is that this guy really seemed to do his homework. He showed the roots and showcased a few of the earlier bands that rarely get credit for their contribution to the music scene. Everyone credits Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin and so does this guy but he also talks about the Mississippi delta blues and bands like Blue Cheer and MC5. Of course there was talk about the classical music influence, the blues scale and how playing in diminished 5th was called the devil’s note. While all of that may be true, I tend to shy away from calling on classical music as a defense for the music I like. It seems too much like grasping at straws, putting on heirs. Using the perceived prestige of classical music to polish a turd. I’d rather make no excuses, no apologies for the music. I love it. If you don’t, then more power to you, go listen to “the Best of Sting”.
OK, back to the movie. He went through a lot of the metal genres. He couldn’t hit them all because it seems there’s a genre for every band. Metal is factionalized even amongst ourselves. But he got the big ones and for the most part, Fred and I agreed with his list. There were 2 or 3 that we would have listed differently but hey, we’re only experts in our own minds. I may not be the world’s leading expert in metal but even I knew “Cradle of Filth” didn’t belong in the “Norwegian Black Metal” list. They’re from freaking England!!! I listen to a lot of NBM music and I love it. Unfortunately, the Norwegian Black Metal scene is famous (infamous) for a bunch of church burnings. The movie focused on this. Some of these bands are taking credit for them, publicly encouraging them and in some cases are going to jail proudly for them. First off, burning down a church is crap. I don’t care how much you disagree with another person’s point of view; you don’t burn down their temples. BUT, these fucking morons are burning down 1200 year old buildings! Not only are they works of art, not only are they national treasures but they are the very buildings that they say they want to build in place of these Christian churches! These are old pagan staves! The Christians simply moved into the buildings after Olaf II embraced the new religion in exchange for free trade with mainland Europe! These dickheads are screaming about returning to the old ways and are burning down the very churches in which their ancestors worshiped the old gods!
OK, ok, ok, enough of the history lesson, back to the movie. Sorry about that, can you tell I am passionate about this and I obviously have lots more to say on it? So, the best part of the movie was the extended interview on the bonus DVD with Lemmy. If you don’t know who Lemmy is, it’s hard to explain him. He’s the singer for Motorhead. Old and ugly as sin, known for his drinking binges and cockney accent, as well as these huge moles on his cheek. Sounds like he gargles with gravel, wears sunglasses and keeps the microphone above him so he sings straight up into the air. In one movie, a guy is quizzing another guy to see if he’s really a metal fan or just a ‘poser”. He asks, “Who would win in a fight, Lemmy or God?” Of course the guy says, “Lemmy” and the other guy says, “Trick question asshole, Lemmy IS God!” This pretty much sums up Lemmy. He freely speaks his mind during interviews and this time, he hit me in the balls twice.
The fist time requires a bit of a set up. Fred and I have had a long-standing disagreement on Motorhead. I’m a fan, he’s not. In the list of “Who is metal, who is not”, Fred calls Motorhead Rock, I call them Metal. This has been a long running argument. All throughout this movie, they keep running back and forth between interviews with everyone and they keep showing Lemmy. They showcase a lot of Motorhead’s music. I tell Fred, “You know, for a band that isn’t metal, they sure do use them a lot in a movie called, METAL!!!! One day, you will admit you are wrong, you will bow before Lemmy, you will call them metal!” Not two minutes later, they show clips about where the name “Heavy Metal” came from and the application to each band when it was new. Lemmy said, “Well, I never really considered us metal, I just call it all rock and roll.” Fred just looked over at me and smiled. Fucker!
The next time Lemmy stuck the pin in me was when he was asked about commercial success and the branding of sell-out bands (although they never mentioned Metallica by name). He said something like, “Well that’s why were here, to get our music out. We don’t do this to die poverty-stricken and unheard of. What these fans are really upset about is not the fact that these bands made good money, it’s that these bands are not your little baby anymore. It used to be your little secret, just you and five of your friends, now everyone gets to hear these bands and you feel like you lost something.” Fuck you Lemmy for being right… I am guilty as hell about that. Some bands I just can’t listen to anymore once certain people start digging on them. Like with newer rock, once Zephyr and Becca start liking them, I’m done with them. I’ve got to stop that shit. But it only happens with marginal bands. I mean, I don’t care who likes Slayer, I’m a fan till death. But crap like Lacuna Coil and Evanescence, I used to like them, but I can do without them if it means I can crowbar myself away from the larger group of losers in their fan-base.
OK, I keep going off on tangents, time to wrap this up. Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey. It was great. I loved it but it’s not for everybody. If you’re not a fan of metal or at least a musicologist, you probably won’t like or even understand this movie. If you are a rabid fan, you still might not like how he doesn’t just gloss over the rougher spots of the scene and how he delved into and exposed the darker aspects that give us all a bad name. If you like to explore the good as well as the bad, while still glorifying the scene, this is a great film. If nothing else, it will be the catalyst that finally gets me off my ass and across the ocean. After seeing the Wacken OA festival in the movie, I am starting to make plans to go to Germany in the next three years. Fred thinks I’m joking but I’m not. In two or three years, we ought to be able to rat-hole away enough money to make it to WOA by 2008 or 2009. No wives, no girlfriends, no BS, just the music. I’ve always wanted to see Germany, why not see a bunch of bad-assed bands while I’m there…
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