Shitty Christmas song parodies and covers.
Not every dink with a USB microphone needs to record their own versions of Christmas carols, most often consisting of the nasally voice of this frog-spawn reject singing their mediocre creation over top of the regular recording accompanied by some hissing background noise and someone popping the mic. There are plenty of Christmas themed karaoke CDs, try that route genius! Also, we’re real happy you found the adjustment on Audacity to make your voice sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks but unless you have something creative to say, send the recording to grandma and leave me off your e-mail “naughty list”. Here’s a hint, instead of adjusting the “change pitch” setting, turn down the “suckage” setting.
The content is wide open. Just make it listenable. I’m not trying to safeguard the world against “filth” and “obscenity” during the Christmas season. Our Christmas playlist here at the house includes RuPaul’s “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” as well as the HP Lovecraft Society’s, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog-Sothoth” (You can kind of tell which songs belong to Teresa and which ones belong to me…) We also have “Jingle Farts” which is nothing but Jingle Bells played with farts… Yeah, the song is so bad you can actually smell the disgustingness. So I’m not the bearer of good taste and I’m not trying to be the judge of what is “appropriate” for others during Christmas or any other time of the year.
Also, your Christmas song parody should be Christmasy in nature. I covered the whole “unnecessary sex in Christmas songs” the other day and I’m not going over that again but I’m just thinking that if you’re going to call it a Christmas song, maybe it should involve something Christmasy? If I put out a video of me just reading George Carlin’s infamous “seven words” while wearing a Santa Claus hat, is that really considered a Christmas song?
Cover songs have always been a source of contention around me. I really like some cover songs, I really hate others. I think it’s a matter of what songs are considered untouchable. Are any Christmas songs untouchable? At this point, they’re all covered by hundreds of artists. I can’t hear anyone but Nat King Cole sing “The Christmas Song” but he’s not the only one to ever sing it. And when Twisted Sister does “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” is it wrong that I recognize they stole the cadence for “We’re Not Gonna Take It” from a Christmas carol?
So come on people, if you’re going to lambaste your favorite Christmas song, please do it responsibly this season. When your friends ask you if you want to help them record the song and only then do they start writing out the lyrics… Say no. And help your friends to say no as well. Remember, the process should always be; idea, revision and THEN record. Recording before the idea only hurts us all. Merry Christmas you jackasses.
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