Roller Coaster

[Pokes head out of cave]

Hello there.  Groundhog Chris here.  We’ve been hiding in our cave.  It’s safe in here.  I’m protected and secure, unfortunately I’m also isolated and alone.

I missed posting yesterday because I didn’t feel like being cute and I couldn’t post what I really felt.  It wouldn’t be fair to dump all of that on you right before Christmas.  I only mention it now because I’ve had a rough couple of weeks (months?) and started to really feel the bottom dropping out.  Everyone goes through that once in a while so it’s something we all share.

I’m sitting there thinking about how bad things are and I wonder what I’m going to do.  So I start to think about what other people do in times like this.  Some people turn to religion, some people turn to the bottle.  I had nothing to turn to.  And I smiled at that.  I had to rely on myself.  I had to stand up and be strong on my own.  I can’t throw my problems on a scapegoat and I can’t drink to forget them.  I had nowhere to turn and that was just what I needed.  Sometimes having nowhere to go is the best thing.  It makes you take responsibility for yourself and deal with your issues, something I’ve been trying to deflect for a little while now.

I’m starting to think that maybe Teresa is right that I might need to go back to the shrinks again…  On the other hand, suicide rates are up during this season so a quick jaunt into minor depression and rapid recovery can’t be all that unusual.  It’s something we can all agree on or at least understand.  See?  It’s the little things that bring us together…

Like when you eat an apple…  Am I the only one who eats them by biting all the way around the apple, leaving one thin strand connecting the top and bottom.  And then I imagine it is a land bridge connecting two primitive civilizations.  The crowds of people see the monster jaws coming towards them but they can’t run fast enough to get off the bridge.  They grab their children and slide down the final curve of the apple into the oasis at the apple core poles just as I bite down and destroy the connection between their two worlds leaving them to develop separately until they find a new way to travel to the other pole and by then whole generations have passed and they try to conquer the other pole eventually leading to a catastrophic apple core world war!  I can’t be the only one who does that can I?

And can I be the only one who wants a CD full of Christmas carols done in Christopher Walken’s voice?

It’s these little thing we all have in common that bring us together.  Manic depression, apple core wars and more cowbell for the baby Jesus.

Okay, I’ll be back out when I don’t see my shadow…  or tomorrow…  whichever comes first.

[Scurries back into cave]