Versions of Truth

A very nice thing happened to me over the holiday break.  I had a calm and civil religious conversation with a Christian.  It involved logic and mutual respect, something that most people rarely offer to me in these conversations.  I admit, I held back many of my questions because I knew my counterpart didn’t have the answers but because she wasn’t attacking me, I didn’t feel the need to show her how wrong I felt she was.  That may seem a bit dickish to say but the entire point of the conversation was to point out how wrong I was…  Most conversations I have about religion turn combative quickly.  I really like the person I was talking with and this was the first time she’d brought up religion so I didn’t want to counter with anything too abrasive.  In essence, I enjoyed the conversation by allowing her to question me and not questioning her back.  Everybody gets one…

It was a simple question, one that I’ve heard a thousand times before; If the rapture happened in front of my eyes, would I believe then?

I answered yes.

Of course I had to answer yes, there is no other logical choice.  If I saw the dead rising from the grave intact and then fly up into the sky accompanied my trumpets and weeping angels, I’d probably shit myself.  Then I’d watch as half the human population fly up into the clouds to meet Jesus.  How could you ignore that?  Why would you want to ignore that?  At last we have proof!  At last the question of religion has been answered.  Of course I’d have to believe at that point.  I saw it happen with my own eyes, I can watch the video footage, I look around and millions of people are missing but there are no bodies…  The evidence is piling up here!  Some physicist needs to explain to me why half the people of Earth just defied the laws of gravity and achieved escape velocity while the rest of us remained firmly planted on Terra firma.  If gravity just failed for some miraculous reason, we’d ALL have flown to the clouds.  If there was a plague that just killed half the planet, there’d be bodies.  If science couldn’t come up with a more reasonable explanation for what I just saw, I’d be a fool to say I still didn’t believe.

Unless you look closer…  I’m imagining the rapture as it’s been depicted in renaissance era artwork and some of the novels I’ve read as well as the Hollywood version of it from a few movies and TV shows.  Truth is, the rapture isn’t really described in much detail in their Bible.  “Caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air” is how it’s been translated into modern English.  A couple of passages about a shout and a trumpet.  Some noise about the dead rising uncorrupted and then two men in a field, two women at a mill, one of each taken.  That’s it.  But there’s also a line about it happening in the blink of an eye, so we probably won’t see it happen.

Ignoring the small details like interpretation and fact, the spirit of the question was the important thing.  If I was given sufficient proof would I believe?  Yes.  Would the rapture be enough proof?  That depends on how it comes off.  If we get the highly theatrical version then absolutely yes, it would serve as proof for me.  If we get the nuclear holocaust version…  flash, no bodies, blown to the clouds, air-raid sirens in place of trumpets…  I’d say no because there’s nothing supernatural in that version.  You have not shown me proof, you’ve only fit your story in with existing facts.  If known science can explain it without creating more questions that it answers, then how could you expect anyone to believe your outlandish story just because a few vague passages in an ancient translated story book say so.  But I was much nicer when I said it.

We moved beyond the validity of the rapture and into the real meaning of why she brought it up.  And we disagreed again.  For the sake of argument, I accepted the director’s cut of the Rapture as a given.  I saw the floating bodies, I heard the trumpets and the voice of God, I firmly believe in the Christian religion now.  If that were true, would I go to church?

I didn’t answer, I asked another question, “Would that matter?”

According to what I read, once the rapture happens, all the rest of us are fucked.  There is no escape clause.  At least, that’s what I read.  She says her pastor says there is a second chance.  (For the record, her pastor also believes the “Behemoth” in Job refers to an actual living dinosaur so, take his thoughts with a pound of salt…)  Those of us who aren’t caught up in the first wave have to live through the tribulation and then we get a do-over at the second coming.  I told her that I think that’s a chicken-shit way to run a religion.

If you lay down rules and explain the punishment for not following the rules, why let people who chose not to play win the game?  If you don’t believe, you don’t get into heaven.  It’s pretty much part of the basic structure here.  We’re not talking about a second chance like, “forgive me Jesus, I said a swear word”, we’re talking about not playing the game at all!  And you think we’re all going to get included at the last minute?  If I were a Christian, I’d be a bit pissed off about that.  I spend my entire live bowing, scraping, obeying, praying, kneeling in guilt and suffering and otherwise supporting the habit of this oppressive deity with a severe worship addiction, while watching my neighbor have all the fun in this life.  And then he gets the room next to me in Hotel Heaven!?  WTF man!?

Imagine you go to college for your medical degree.  You study, you learn, you give up all those parties and you spend the nights hitting the books while your room mate goes out and has LOTS of fun!  After the first semester, the room mate drops out and you persevere through a decade of school, internships, paying back fat debts from loans while the room mate went on with his life, partying like there’s no tomorrow…  But you made it.  You’re finally a doctor.  All that hard work and sacrifice finally paid off.  And at the graduation ceremony they bring up your old room mate to get his degree too?  If so, your god has a better sense of humor that I could have ever imagined…

It all depends on which brand of Christian you are and ALL of them claiming to be the RIGHT brand, all those “other christians” have it wrong…

Dispensationalist, Amillennialists, Postmillennialists, Midtribulationists, Premillennialists…  Some believe in the rapture do-over, others don’t.  Then we get Literal Translationists and Parable Believers…  If they can’t agree among themselves, how can they expect me to believe a word they say?  If you were going to a party and the house had everyone fighting and arguing, would you still go?  I mean,  if they can’t agree among themselves, how can they expect to attract a new audience?

The truth is, the odds are overwhelming that you are the same faith as your parents.  If you were brought up in a strict religious household, you are probably raising your children under the same dogma.  Every once in a while someone gets a wild hair up their ass and starts a new religion.  When that religion becomes established and stable, they fight to revise history and make it look like they were right all along…  Now we have thousands of Christian denominations that hived themselves off of Holy Mother Church because they didn’t like a few rules.  Then someone comes away from that group because of a few more rules…  Eventually leading to the point that everyone is happy with the rules because they just made them up!  And instead of embracing that change, they want you to believe that their tradition goes back to the true original intentions of Jesus…  Oh man what a mess!

Okay, back to the original point.  I’ve got lots more but it will just have to wait…

Summing up and to answer her questions;
Yes, in the face of honestly incontrovertible proof, I would believe.
Yes and No, the rapture as described in your Bible, may not provide enough proof.  It depends on the circumstances.
Yes, as a converted believer I probably would go to church during the tribulation.
No, I don’t believe I will get a second chance.  According to my interpretation of your Bible, I am destined to burn in Hell for eternity and I am comfortable with that.