When will the chaos end? When will the pressure begin to ease? When will I be able to take a deep breath and relax?? Holy Cow! We’re just about out of February and I don’t even remember entering January! I’ve been on the run forever – if not in body, in mind! I’m seriously wondering when my heart will give out or when the top of my head will explode.
June 13th is my last official day as Coach to 5 Girl Scout Troops. June 13th was supposed to be my last official day as Daisy leader but every time I begin my resignation letter and plan to notify my daisy mom’s, Becca stops me with the plea that she doesn’t want to lose her daisy troop. Honestly, she’s been running the darn thing since November. I plan the meetings and then deal with the parents, Becca handles the girls and the activities. But it’s just too much. I can’t take it any longer. I turned in my resignation for Secretary, but they’ve asked me to hold off on that one.. they think I’ll change my mind before September rolls around.. we’ll see.. it’s not much to do, so we’ll see. The Cadette troop? Still debating on that.. the girls want me to stay but… I don’t know if I have another 4 years left in me for them. I’m burned out and ready for a padded cell.
Cookie sales are underway and chaos as usual surrounds us. Parents are calling me asking me questions when I’m not in charge of cookie sales. Parents refuse to call the cookie mom because they KNOW I’ll answer the phone and answer their questions. Tonight was our first booth and due to an issue with one parent – FOUR cookie booths are being disrupted and screwed up. GRRRR! Just burns me up. Thought I’d have a quiet night at home trying to get laundry done before I headed out to check on 4 booths tomorrow. NOPE!
My daisy parents are driving me crazy. I’ve discreetly informed a few I’d be resigning and they’ve all done the standard, “you can’t leave, you’re amazing” routine. Blah blah blah, I know I’m replaceable… just find someone. No one wants the responsibility but they all have no problem offering me suggestions on how to run the meetings, plan the meetings and which patches they want. I’ve blown up a few times and they’ve all been shocked I’d be so upset at their “assistance”. Hell, if they want to offer assistance – take over the damn troop! One mom is purchasing patches weekly – and we’ve not even done the projects! It’s crazy. But, of course, she wants me to research and plan the activities for those patches she purchased. GRRR!
Morgan house is in absolute chaos. The house is a mess, the laundry is piling up and the anger and frustration is mounting. Fighting daily, going to bed angry or sad.. it’s pitiful. No way to get around it. Patience is lost, compassion is gone…no time for ourselves so how can we have time for each other? If we make it to June it will be a freaking miracle. Hell, I say we… It’s me. I have no time, patience, or energy for my family. I’ve let myself go.. not taking my meds, not eating anything healthy..hell half the time not even bothering to brush my hair I’m so darn busy… I’m letting my business (and Girl Scouting) interfere with family time. My hours are 7-5:30 but for the past 4 months I’ve been working 6 until 6 and one parent just asked last night if I’d work until 6:30pm. Can’t do it (not because of family) but…because 3 nights (sometimes 4) a week I have to be in Arlington at 6:15 for girl scouting. Dinner has been McDonalds all week because with 5 kids and then Girl Scouts, I don’t have time to cook dinner – heck tonight I used the crock pot and almost didn’t get it done on time..I love my job, I love the kids but I’m screwing up by being too nice. A lot will change in June, a lot of stress will disappear but will we make it until then? Only time will tell I guess.
And.. will we have any friends by then? I just realized tonight that we’ve been out of the loop for over a year. WOW.. didn’t realize it until tonight. Haven’t hung out with friends, haven’t attended parties, haven’t gone to dinner..we’ve been so crazy out of the loop.. Will we have friends in June? Will they forgive us for neglecting them?? My schedule is packed until May. Every weekend is crammed full of event after event – EVEN SUNDAYS! How did I let that happen? And as good as I am with keeping records.. how do I double book myself? I’ve done it twice in the past few weeks. If anyone knows how to clone… I’m in the market for a second me!
Feeling better after a vent.. Now if only I had a room full of friends and a bottle of tequila….
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