Every time I post on the other blog, I feel like I’m cheating on you.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. If only you would have listened to me when I needed you. You never let me…
See? You’ve interrupted me again!
No. And stop telling me I’m being a baby! I just wish you could understand…
I …
…
If it helps any, I’m always thinking of you; wishing you were willing to hear all the things I need to say…
June 30th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
I’m pretty sure there is an integration plugin so you can push from here to there, certainly there are several ways to publish here and “share” to facebook.
But the dialogue was great, none-the-less.
July 2nd, 2010 at 12:18 pm
If you’d just let yourself go you wouldn’t have to cheat on your other blog… just write what you feel and quit cheating!!!
July 4th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Well I’ve tried that. The general feeling is that no one wants to hear it when I bitch and moan about myself. When I have that depressed “woe is me” pen in hand, this is not the page upon which I am permitted to spill ink. For the better part of three months now I’ve been venting the pains of self-loathing and futility into a neutral space. A blog where my identity is unknown and I am allowed to just “get it out”. Feels good.
But every time I post there, I feel like I should be posting here…
July 6th, 2010 at 11:14 am
I call shenanigans!
You completely misread responses to your death and dark posts. There is a HUGE difference between “‘m really unhappy that you are feeling bad, and I want to consiole you, or try to fix it” and “You shouldn’t be posting that shit in public”.
You are interpreting the responses as the latter, when it’s really the former that is what people who like you were responding with. You go ahead and do whatever you want to, I’m not trying to run your life, after all, but you can stop putting words in others mouths. I don’t know of a single person who even attempted to prevent you from posting dark stuff and far more importantly, who the fuck has the right to tell you what you can and cant do on YOUR blog (well, except me, but we established you would have to post your Furry Porn elsewhere before you started… lol)
July 7th, 2010 at 11:51 am
And this is why we have to be careful when we read things on the internets, no tone. Shit, it almost sounds like you want to take a swing at me…
I get it man, I know what you’re saying. I never said that I make sense when I’m in the fugue. It’s possible that I’m misinterpreting things or just plain feeling uncomfortable about things. Either way, because of the reaction, the perceived reaction or the anticipated reaction, I don’t like posting my melodrama bullshit up here. And looking back on what I write when I’m in these spots, I’m glad I don’t. It’s embarrassing emo bullshit. Stuff I thought I grew out of 20 years ago…
Of course I “can” post, but ability to do something isn’t always the best judgment of whether I “should” do something.
I’ve never doubted the love of the people around me. You guys are the best! I’ve only ever questioned how honest I will allow myself to be out here in this public forum. Once I post it, I can’t take it back and because it’s in writing it somehow becomes canon. If I get up here and whine about “no one like me, whaaah, whaaa, whaaa…” it might not be seen as a momentary bitch-session but rather an indictment of how I feel about everyone else and I’d hate for that to happen.
So instead of stifling my childish and darker writings as I have in recent years I have given them light in another place where maybe no one will read them but they can’t hurt anyone either. Quarantined blog posts if you will. And it finally feels so good to get some of them out into the open…