Special Kids?

Your children are not special.  They are not the exception to the rule.  They are not extraordinary.

Oh, I’m sure YOU think they are.  I am well aware that to you, these kids are the center of the universe.  But you’re wrong.  They may be the center of YOUR universe but out here in the real world, they are just one in trillions.  Insignificant background noise.  Dust.

Teresa and I went to Becca’s open house last night.  It’s her first year of high school and I liked most of what I heard.  The teachers pretty much said, “You signed up for an advance studies school, this is college-light.  This is the #8 high school in the entire nation and we’re not going to treat you like you’re attending a regular high school.  Get your shit together and do it fast because we’re hitting the ground running.  Can’t hack it?  Quit now and go to your local neighborhood school.” They said it a LOT nicer than that and they weren’t as crass and elitist as I just typed out but that’s the general feeling I got.  And I liked it!  Until they started kissing our ass a little bit…

When they explained the rules of the classrooms, most of them were the same: No eating, no drinking, no cellphones.  Each teacher went on and on about how they rarely have discipline problems in the advance studies school and how the kids seem to be well rounded and better prepared for higher education.  So far I’d pretty much agree…  But then they attribute this “success” to us.  They say the parents deserve the credit for raising such wonderful children and setting such a great example.

I so badly wanted to call bullshit!  I stood there and watched as three of the parents were texting on their phones.  One was actually trying to whisper into their phone.  One brought a younger child who was playing his NintendoDS and another parent was eating Taco Bell.  This was in just ONE of the six classrooms we visited.  Good example my ass.

And what do they really know of these kid’s homelife?  They’ve been in school for all of six days so far.  Maybe the parents are super-strict and beat the kid for bringing home a “B”.  Maybe one of the kids is excelling because he watches as his drunken father comes home from the factory every night and beat his family and the kid is only doing well in school to escape this life.  Examples of extreme possibilities sure but they are possibilities so don’t kiss our ass until you get to know our kids…  However I suspect the majority of these kids are suffering from over-involved parents.

We all love our kids, we all think they are important.  Every parent raising a child wants the best in the world for them, we want them to be successful and happy.  So that may explain why half the parents expect the rest of us to be accommodating and patient when they hold up every process to make exceptions for their kids.

“Johnny can’t make it to class on time because I drop him off on my way to work at 8:30.  Can we switch his first class to an elective so he doesn’t miss anything important?”

“Judy gets thirsty between classes.  I know your rules say that water bottles are not allowed in class but is it okay for her to have one anyway?”

“Joey has church on Wednesday nights, can you move football practice to Thursday nights so he can join the team?”

“I know your rules say there is to be no wild hair colors but Janie has orange and purple hair because we like for her to express herself, can’t you make an exception?”

Fuck Johnny, fuck Judy, fuck Joey and especially fuck Janie!

If your kid is late, they don’t get in my class.  If they don’t go to the meetings, they lose out on joining the club.  If you can’t make it to the parent night meeting, you don’t get a make up class.  Rules are rules.  Either change them for everyone or shut the fuck up already.  Your kid is NOT important enough to be the only exception to the rule and definitely not important enough to disrupt the flow with your asinine questions!

Goddammit didn’t we just go over this recently!?  I’m starting to feel like Walter from “The Big Lebowski”.  “Has the whole world gone crazy?  Am I wrong!  Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?  Mark it zero!”

Personally, I see nothing wrong with having a water bottle.  They are in class for ninety minutes at a time and then they have to run to the other side of the school in five minutes to sit for another ninety minutes.  It might be nice to have a drink of water, especially in the Florida heat.  But Judy’s mom is going about it the wrong way.  Judy is not the only thirsty kid.  Judy is not significant enough to warrant an exception.  Ask the school for the reason behind the regulation.  They may tell you that when they allowed water bottles in years past, the kids spent all their time in the hallways on bathroom passes.  They may tell you that high school kids imbibe other liquids that appear as though they are water.  And they may tell you that you are right and that they should change the rule.  But regardless of what they tell you, don’t delude yourself into thinking that your precious little Judy deserves to have a bottle while the rest of the kids don’t.  I like blue and purple hair.  But Becca can’t wear her hair like that until the rule is changed (and until mommy goes blind…)

None of these kids are exceptional beyond their own hard work.  They’ve earned their position in a top school and they are in for more hard work ahead of them.  When they come out on the other side, they deserve to be praised for their perseverance.  We as parents have the easy part.  We’re driving them all over town, we’re buying necessary supplies, we’re helping them study.  But isn’t that what ALL parents do?  Other than some encouragement and guidance when they hit hard times along their chosen difficult path, we as parents deserve none of the credit.  In fact, the over-active meddling ones probably deserve a lot of the blame…