What a weekend

We finally put to rest a wonderful man this weekend. It was rough and it just broke my heart but it was also a nice weekend because I was able to see not only my dad, Liz and Jerry but I was also able to see cousins, aunts and uncles I haven’t seen in years. I have a cousin in Starke that I haven’t seen in 25 years and a cousin that lived just minutes away from me off Fort Caroline Road that I hadn’t seen in over 36 years. She says the last time she saw me was when I was 18 months old and she’s lived 5 minutes away from my old house for over 8 years. Sad..

The good stuff..My dad looks great, he’s had a rough couple of months but he’s looking great and trying to keep his health up. It was wonderful seeing him and as usual I didn’t want to come home again. We had a blast cooking out over a fire, playing poker and just hanging out.  Liz and Becca tortured and entertained my cousin Richard all Saturday night. I don’t know who cracked up who the most. It was funny seeing my quiet Cousin open up and crack jokes with two teenagers. Liz even found a cousin who’s shorter than she is!!! The weather was awesome. Saturday was cold, windy and rainy but during the service it was just perfect. Liz stood by the window in the little chapel on the hill watching an eagle soar through the air as the Reverend spoke of my wonderful Uncle Dick.  I was doing pretty good through the whole service, watching dad and Liz making sure they were okay. I did good…..until the 21 gun salute and the solo trumpet played taps. I lost my breath, my heart broke and the tears flowed. Uncle Dick had a great life, he was an amazing man and I know it was time to go..but hearing those guns and listening to THAT song so quiet, so sad, just broke my heart. Not a dry eye in the place, and my sweet little Lizzy finally shed the tears she needed to let flow. She never cried at mom’s funeral, never at Aunt Gloria’s but Uncle Dick?? She finally let go and it just tore me up to see it…

The Bad… I almost lost my cool, almost caused a MAJOR scene at my Uncles memorial. Long story short – he had 3 children – One I grew up with but lost touch with over the past 20 years.. the other two – I’ve not seen since I was 18 months old. One daughter refused to attend as she’d already made peace with her father and didn’t feel it necessary to attend. The son, visited a few weeks ago to see his father as he was in the hospital and then made the return trip up, not 2 weeks later to say good bye to his dad. The other daughter came up….. to cause a FUCKING SCENE! I hate people that turn things around so it’s “all about me”! Especially when it’s so very inappropriate!

She felt it necessary to try to be in charge, try to take over all the arrangements and basically boss everyone around. I found out this weekend that she lived just 5 minutes away from me the past 8 years… Never knew.. never cared and after this weekend.. Hope I never see her again!

After the reverend made his speeches, he opened it up to family to speak – She spoke and I about strangled her – if it hadn’t been for Chris grabbing my belt loop, I’d have been up at the podium banging her fucking head against it! OH BOY was she lucky. She started off the speech by saying her father was a lousy father and lousy husband and that he left her as an orphan, just as he left her again now 57 years later an orphan. GEESH!! She then went on to say what a great dad he was by teaching her all this stuff about patriotism and the grand old flag blah blah! (THAT was a dig because her mother divorced him because he refused to get out of the army and she had affair after affair to ease her loneliness) She said so much crap and you could feel the tension in the room. This wasn’t a memorial for him – it was a roast and she blasted him! Dad just sat in his chair head down shaking his head. He wanted to get up and walk out of the room but didn’t want to cause a scene – I had no such restraint – I wanted to pop her right in the jaw! She turned it all around so it was all about her – how she helped out at 9/11 and she helped out with all this military stuff – all because of good old dad – but good old dad was a lousy piece of shit!! GRRR! My uncle was awesome, amazing and would have taken the shirt off his own back to help a stranger and she pulled this shit!! There wasn’t a WET eye in the place while she talked. People were livid!

And then… at the end of the 21 gun salute… she was handed the folded AMERICAN FLAG! I don’t care what people say, I don’t care that she was the “oldest”. That flag should have gone to my cousin Richard – because HE was the only one there for his father and HE was the ONLY ONE that deserved that flag. That fat grumpy evil cow doesn’t deserve a FUCKING THING from my uncle and she deserves to rot in hell for all the nasty things she’s said about him.

Another cousin spoke about how my uncle wasn’t perfect – no one is, he made mistakes, everyone does – and then went on with this long and beautifully written speech. There wasn’t a DRY eye in the place, it was beautiful…until her last comment was… “I wrote Uncle Dick a letter and I hope he was able to read it and I hope he was able to understand and hope he was able to repent his sins to Jesus because I want to see him in eternity with me.” Now, WHY did you have to go and add that? WHY?  I’m all for praying for him, and I’m all for you writing him a letter and hoping he takes it to heart – that’s fine.. BUT.. WHY did that have to be said? WHY couldn’t you keep that to yourself? It was not needed nor necessary to say.. to do? Can’t we just remember the good days, the good times. Does it always have to come down to repenting your sins? Why did she have to voice that, when even the Reverend kept that out of his speech. GRRR! Drives me crazy.. Must just be that Southern Baptist thing again… GRRR!

It took us 14 hours to get up there, but close to 16 to get home. It was a long and tiring drive. If money gets better and things start looking up – we’re ALL going up at Thanksgiving in honor of Uncle Dick. Fingers crossed everything works out!