No catch phrases, I won’t pull any obscure references. The two latest remakes/reboots I’ve just heard about are “Poltergeist” and “Greatest American Hero”. And there is talk about rebooting “Child’s Play”. I almost like the GAH idea but the unwitting/bumbling superhero story could be told in a new way. It sickens me that I have all these ideas floating around in my head, that I converse with people that have better ideas in their heads, and yet Hollywood continues to regurgitate old ideas over and over. There are only (insert argumentative number here) plots out there and a good writer has to reinvent the story and make it theirs. Why do we have to shuffle the same crap around? I think it’s just to give some of today’s crappiers actors something to do.
“You must go to Gort and you must say these words, “Like um, Klaatu barada nikto dude!” Keanu as Plastic Man I can believe, as Klaatu not so much.
Do they REALLY think they are going to improve on a story told by Spielberg at the top of his game and made by the guy that brought us the good version of “Texas Chainsaw”? You can’t improve on that clown scene. I don’t have the new fashionable fear of clowns, but I still get the willies when that kid looks under the bed, nothing is there and he comes back up… AHHHHHHHH! I’m getting chills just writing it! I guess you could improve it a bit, the small boy is alone in his bedroom, looks under the bed, nothing is there, he comes up and BAM! Michael Jackson is in bed with him and dressed like a Catholic priest.
So in my frustration, I started making a list of movies that should never be remade. I know a lot of them are remakes and retells to begin with, but sometimes there is a time/place when everything goes right and movie magic is made. Don’t try to recreate those movies, we will all be disappointed:
Psycho, Planet of the Apes, Amityville Horror, The Time Machine, Carrie, My Fair Lady, Sons of Katie Elder, Logan’s Run… You get my point, every damn one of them raped and left for dead in a ditch. It’s a lot like cover songs. There are some you must never touch, and yet Tori Amos keeps making CDs…
Even if a bad movie becomes a cult favorite, don’t touch it! Movie magic, remember? You can’t improve on something the public has taken as part of themselves. No matter HOW good the new Rocky Horror Picture Show is, it won’t hold a candle to the original. You either love it or you hate it. If you hate it, odds are you have no interest in the new version. If you love it, you don’t want a new version. RHPS without Tim Curry is a crime against all that was ever good in Hollywood. You just can’t recreate moments.
Some remakes are good, “The Birdcage” is one of my favorites. There are times that a remake is better than the original (Scarface) and there are times that remakes are great while not outdoing the original (Magnificent Seven/Seven Samurai). Movie opinions are subjective and what I like, you might not and what you like I probably won’t. But the basic idea I have a problem with is lazy writers. Rather than reinvent the story, they do a direct remake. I’m tired of getting the same movies thrown at me every ten years!
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