Flipping through the channels and I’ve got to tell you, there is nothing more difficult to watch than some dumb white chick with no rhythm imitating a musician. I got stuck on some home improvement HGTV show where a guy had his drums in the basement and the show was going to do a complete renovation of the room. The host of the show made many, many little “rocker” imitations and gestures and I wanted nothing more than to identify this chick, track her down and kill her slowly with a dessert fork. Everything became a parody of itself. The color red became “Rock and Roll Red”… “We’re going to illuminate the room in a rock and roll way”… shit like that. They picked a silver leather couch because it looked “Rock star style”. I thought it looked like duct tape.
I turned it off when they built a custom cabinet to take this guy’s snare drums out of their cases and show them off. I guess the expensive gig bags the guy already had weren’t good enough, we had to find a way for them to collect dust and get damaged? She really has no clue… Of course, the contractors tapped on everything from paint cans to countertops and none of them hit anything resembling a rhythm. Teresa, if you ever get the urge to go on a show like this without me knowing, please kill me first before any of those assholes touch my drums. I cringed every time I saw these brain dead fashion designers holding one of the snares.
Some of you may have seen the show and if it got worse don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. The only time I ever felt so sickened by a lame white chick imitating a real musician was watching Celine Dion sing and play air guitar with AC/DC’s “Shook Me All Night Long”. No shit, look it up on YouTube. Complete with the Dio horns, high leg kicks and everything. You will scratch your eyes out and pour acid in your ears. Difficult to watch does not even come close to how fucked up that was. I still have nightmares.
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