You know all those roadside steak houses out west that have the giant 64oz steak they’ll give you for free if you can eat it? They always have some crappy t-shirt that says something like, “I can eat the big one at Joe’s Steakhouse” or, “I took the monster steak challenge at Bobby’s Roadhouse”. How someone with any self respect can wear those shirts… another rant, another time.
But in a fleeting moment, I came up with an idea that capitalizes on the same idea and yet, is probably the most tasteless idea I’ve come up with in a long, long time. If you’ve followed my ideas, that really is saying a lot. Where most people come up with horrible ideas, shudder and block it from their memories, I post them up here for all to see the level of depravity in my mind.
Buy up a shooting range, set up the proper distances, elevations and a moving track to simulate Dealey Plaza. Give the customer three shells and a Mannlicher-Carcano, start the car down the track and begin the countdown from 8.6 seconds. If he scores two hits in the mannequin, he gets the t-shirt. “I could have shot JFK and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”
Hey, I warned you it was tasteless… I got the idea because I really like comedian Bill Hicks and I just listened to some of his stuff again. He’s one of the people that vehemently believes in the conspiracy. I just watched the stabilized Zapruder film (don’t watch it unless you really want to see it in vivid detail) and I just have to believe in the laws of physics. Equal and opposite reaction and all of that. No conspiracy. A demented, yet well-trained Marine and Newtonian physics. No conspiracy.
So how long do I have before the Secret Service wants to talk to me about my fictional shooting range?
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