Its a good thing Chris is out of state

There are days like today I REALLY wish my mom were still alive. I want to vent, I want to scream and only she could understand and manage the anger, rage, frustration I’m feeling right now. I reached out to pick up the phone to call her tonight and then remembered… she’s not here. Poor Chris, he tries, but usually gets upset and angry himself because he can’t calm me down when I’m like this and I usually attack him and hurt him in the process.I’m so unreasonable and out of control and vicious in this mood and he’s such an easy target. (I LOVE YOU CHRIS HONEY)  Mom can deal, she knows what to do. I hate being so out of control that I want to put a fist through a wall or this computer of some unsuspecting persons face. Ahhh, the temper boils and over flows tonight…It takes a lot to get me this pissed cause I’m just so even tempered you know?  <GRIN> It’s a good thing my love is out of state, he definitely wants to miss this one and since I so rarely see him, I don’t want to spoil our time with my uncontrollable rage! RAGE RAGE RAGE!

The day was going well, I got my laundry done, I cleaned up a little, balanced the checkbook and began packing for the dreaded Girl Scout camping trip this weekend. It’s all planned. Karen will be here tomorrow morning to stay for the weekend to watch Pagan and Luna and also to be here to accept Kitty as I’ll be dog-sitting next week while the in-laws are on another cruise. I’ll pick up Becca from school early, we’ll grab a quick snack, pack up the rest of the truck and head to Arlington to pick up the crew. NO PROBLEM.

You know, actually this temper started to simmer last night. I honestly think it’s because I missed the past two days of BP pills, I really need to remember to order them quicker…Becca went to a friends yesterday after school to work on a project, of course yesterday was GS night so the plan was I’d pick her up at 5, we’d head over to Arlington grab dinner and hit GS. Well, the pot started to simmer when I found out “dad’ was not picking the girls up from school, as planned. Becca was to ride her friends bus home. No problem except that cut out 2 hours of “work” time. 4:30 rolls around, I text Becca to tell her I’m on my way, walk out to the car intending to head over to San Marco. I get in the car, my phone rings and Becca informs me she’s not at “dad’s” house, she’s at “mom’s house. GRRRR! I have to run back upstairs to get directions to mom’s. I was unreasonably pissed and let my feelings be known, causing Becca to cry. 45 minutes later, I see that yahoo maps has failed me again and I’ve driven all around the damn city just to get to Phillips highway. Needless to say, I was NOT happy when I got there, the ride was quiet, dinner caused indigestion and GS was filled with stress as the girls got on my nerves due to my pent up temper. Anyway, on to today..

Due to the temperature and upcoming camping trip, I decide to toss out my ratty, holey, ripped up pair of jeans and purchase myself a brand new pair for this trip. Capri’s just ain’t going to cut it in 40 degree weather. Get home… they are hip huggers – NO freakin’ way this fat ass is going to fit into hip huggers. I’m pissed at myself AND the pants. I know I should have tried them on at the store but I’ve worn the same size and same brand for years. GRRR!  IDIOT! We get home and I realize I forgot to close the spare bedroom door. DUMB ME! I had spread out my sleeping bag to lysol and air out on the bed. It’s now covered in dog hair because these two ASSES refuse to sleep on their own beds instead sleeping on ours. I SWEAR when I get money I’m going to by shock collars that hit 150volts and nail their asses every time they get near a bed. I MEAN IT! Then of course in my rage I practically fall down the steps as I chase the dogs while screaming like a lunatic. That of course, enrages me even more. The phone rings and it’s Karen. Do I need to say more? Instead of Brandy bringing Karen over tomorrow morning, I now have to run to her house and pick her up. She lives out by Wilson Blvd- 40 minutes away! She’ll give me gas money, oh she promises! It has nothing to do with money this time, it has to do with TIME! So, I have to run over and pick her up along with Sayge, Pick Becca up from school and then come home and pack up the car. SO not my day!

Anyone reading my blogs last year may remember me bitching and moaning about a certain mom that tweeked me every chance she got. After blowing up at me, cursing me out and then my co-leader she quit the troop. HALLELUJAH! Well, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email from one of my mom’s asking if this woman and her daughter could return to our troop. Unfortunately, being a leader AND coach, I was unable to say HELL NO! But I did suggest I find her another troop. NOPE, the little girl wants to be with her friends. No problem. The deal was mom would not come to the meetings unless absolutely necessary, she would not attend field trips and would stay clear of us. PERFECT. Well, along with everything else going wrong today, I get a text from my “mom” informing me that this little girl wants to do cookie booths. OH HELL NO! Last year this mother refused to fill out paperwork for us, she went to the Council to fill it out and refused to allow council to give us her information. Just because!  She caused so many scenes and then bitched that her daughter didn’t get alot of patches. It was AWFUL! No way am I going to allow this woman to sell cookies again. And I told my “mom” this. I try to word my stuff nice when I’m typing, that way there’s no proof of my nastiness (I’ll do that verbally) but this time the vile spewed out and I said, HELL NO! She’s not selling a damn thing.” and I sent it over the phone. OOPS.  I know I’m big on threats and no follow through but this time..oh my…this time, if she sells cookies, I’m turning in my resignation immediately. Now I know, you all are thinking, “what about the girls, they’ll suffer.” I know and that breaks my heart but I promised myself many many months ago, through a blog and everything that I would NEVER let anyone push me around again. And this is one lady I refuse to back down on. She’s a bully and a bitch and I’m SO done with her bossiness and abuse. She sells cookies, in my troop this year and I’m done.

And to think I thought if I typed this out I would feel better! No, just re-reading it makes me want to scream! I can’t do that here, the neighbors will call the cops. I need a drink.. Nope, can’t have that or my stomach will burn. I want to…. ARGGGGGGGGGH!

And on a happy note, yesterday I received my health permit in the mail WOO HOO. Now, if DCF would work a little faster, I may just have my business license this year.