Ok, ok, it’s actually early Thursday morning but the events took place on Wednesday night so…
I am an old man. I never really want to admit that and every shred of evidence just seems to bounce off me until one day I’ll realize I’m old, and just drop dead on the spot. Some of you will remember that scraggly attempt at a band just before I went on the road full time. A couple of you just went into uncontrolled shudders… But the bass player always wanted to get a gig doing “band karaoke”. Sounds like a train wreck huh? Well he finally got it together and they’ve been playing Wednesday nights up at ‘Brewsters’ for the last few months. They’ve been asking me to come up and play but most of the time I’ve been out of town or having to work midnights. This week I had the opportunity to go and just about the time I was going to leave the house I realized; rather than hang out with the guys, drink and talk to young impressionable groupies, I’d prefer to curl up in bed and read my book. I am too damn old.
But, I got my old ass out the door and went out to hang out and play with the band. It was fun as usual. Sounds the same as it did in my den. Same songs, same lack or organization. But he’s making a go of it and is having fun. The beer was expensive considering that I’ve got some in the refrigerator at home. The girls flirted like usual and I just passed them along. How long before they stop saying hello to me at all? Will I miss it? When will one of these empty-headed molls finally ask me, “Is your son in the band?” Will I even flinch?
Another event made me realize I’m aging. I got scared and realized I had put myself in a bad situation without thinking. A couple of weeks ago I was leaving a friends house just as dark was setting in for the night. I had my music up all the way and was singing along. The traffic was keeping me from pulling out for a few seconds and there was a guy walking down the sidewalk who was trying to get my attention. I looked over (turned down the music) and he started to talk. Right away he assured me that he wasn’t a bum and didn’t need money. His car broke down and he needed a ride home. He was going on about how he would pay me or do some free car repairs at his shop or whatever… I told him to hop in and tell me where he needed to go. He was really happy to get a ride because he was recovering from a broken toe and wasn’t looking forward to the long walk. It’s not exactly “common” for me to pick up strangers but it happens once in a while. Most of them are thankful but relatively quiet. This guy wouldn’t stop talking. He was chatty and couldn’t stop talking like he was on speed or something. He said he was glad I came along because he could tell I was cool. There’s no need to pander I thought… I called him on his bullshit and asked, “How the hell could you tell if I was cool or not?” He said, “No one that sings Frank Zappa lyrics at the top of his lungs can be all bad.” Well okay then, I stand corrected.
So I get down Spring Park road and I’m starting to get wary because he’s still talking and talking and talking… Isn’t that the behavior of someone who has something to be nervous about? Now we drive down a residential street and come across the entrance to a public park. He wants me to turn in there. Now the gears in my head start turning and it’s too late. It’s pitch dark out and there are no lights at the entrance. I reach down into the door pocket and make it obvious that reaching for something. I can’t find anything in the pocket to make noise and draw attention to me and just as I was going to give up my finger tips snag a Styrofoam cup. It makes him look down and I casually place the NOTHING under my left leg. Not only is it against company policy but if I were to go on to some of these FAA sites with a weapon I’d go to prison. He says, “Got your pistol out huh?” I tell him that when you travel as much as I do you can’t be too careful. He agrees and is either completely innocent or didn’t get why I made the effort. He tells me that I don’t have to worry because just after the entrance, it’s lit up and there are always cops around. Sure enough it was and he got out and thanked me profusely for the ride.
I was absolutely positive that this guy was going to pull a knife on me or that his friends would be waiting to jump me. I must have stopped to help 30 maybe 40 people in the last two years and I’ve never been scared. Just another incident that tells me that I am no longer invincible, I am no longer young.
Damn kids and their rock and roll… GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
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