So much has happened in the past few weeks. The days just fly by in this nasty month of August. Becca and I have decided from now on the month of August doesn’t exist because for the past few years all it’s brought us is heartache. Becca and I had a good cry this weekend and I finally realized that I really need to curb my temper tantrums around her. She shouldn’t see my melt downs over my inconsiderate family members. My brother has decided to grace my dad with his presence next weekend after not visiting for 3 years. He’s always planning to visit dad and then at the last minute makes some lame excuse as to why he can’t make it up there. Same here for us. He always says he’s coming down to visit then changes his mind. He hasn’t been to Florida for a true visit in 8 years. The only time in the 8 years he’s actually come to Florida is when mom passed away 6 years ago this nasty evil month. We haven’t seen him at all for 3 years.
Becca’s birthday is this month and the only thing she asked for was for Liz to be here. After spending the summer with Liz, the girls seem to have taken it hard when Liz went home. Becca mopes around the house wishing Liz were here sometimes even tearing up. Dad said Liz bitches and moans because when she cracks a joke and he doesn’t get it, she throws a fit and says, “Only Becca gets it.” So, Becca said all she wants is Liz for her birthday and we’re working hard for her to get her wish. Jerry’s plan to go to dad’s would allow Liz to fly home to Atlanta with him and then only have the 45 minute flight to Jax alone. Then on the way back, I’d drop her off here, Jerry would meet her in Atlanta for the layover and Dad would get her in Pittsburgh. This will be her first time flying alone and let’s just say we’re all a little nervous about that. Anyway, Jerry then mentions to my dad that he was planning on coming down to Jax to surprise Becca on her birthday and was disappointed to hear we’d be out of town for her birthday and not having an actual party for her. It was stupid of dad to tell me this because my wonderful well-contained temper flew out and I spewed my vile to Chris not realizing Becca was sitting in her room crying because not only was I upset and hurting but now she is because she agrees that Jerry doesn’t love us because he NEVER comes to see us. He lets Aunt Karen hold so much power over him that he can’t handle driving 6 hours to Florida to visit us. Dramatic yeah, but I dearly adore my brother and it breaks my heart that he uses Karen as an excuse to never visit me. So, we have a good cry because of course as soon as I see the tears I break down myself and Becca decides to write my brother an email. Basically telling him she’s hurt that he would promise to visit and never visits, why does he let Karen dictate his life and that she doesn’t want him visiting now because she’ll never know if it’s because she guilted him into it or if he was doing it because he wanted to. Becca is amazing. And then after all this, she informed me her birthday was no longer August 30th. It was September 12th (the day she was supposed to be born) and that from now on, she was going to ignore the month of August because it holds too much pain. We’re so dramatic here! So, I’m hoping to have the house settled and money in our pocket before September 12th and then I will try to throw together some kind of birthday party for her to celebrate her new birthday. She deserves it as she’s an amazing girl.
Because of having to pay 2 mortgages and 2 electric bills, money has been tight and so of course as usual, school shopping is left to the last minute. Our plan was to get up Saturday and make a day of shopping for clothes and finishing off the school supply list. We were then going to get a manicure and pedicure, have a nice lunch and just spend the day together. Instead, it looks like after the closing of the house on Friday, we’ll be making a quick trip up to Delaware for a funeral. I got news this morning that my Uncle John passed away over night. He was my dad’s oldest brother and he was an amazing man. He loved to fish, crack jokes and play with his hunting dogs. We actually lost him 3 years ago to Alzheimer’s and Dementia. After a bad surgery, worse medications and selfish kids, his mind was never the same but still even though he was just a shell of the man I knew and loved, it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. I only got to see him once a year when we had our annual reunions, but that was okay because we made those visits count. Another rip in my heart this month as I’ll never hear, “How ya makin’ out kid?” again.
RIP
Uncle Johnny
We love you
06/14/24 – 08/12/08
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