NOT!
My sister is probably going to kill me for this but it’s too hilarious not to post. I first will apologize for the absolute embarrassment this will cause to my sister and brother in law… but I just can’t resist!!! They’ve got to have a sense of humor about this….well, maybe in the near future?
No matter what Karen does, if she takes a step forward in progress, she gets slapped back 10 spaces. No matter what.. she handles it like a pro and keeps on ticking. I don’t know how she survives because if I had her life, I’d probably be locked up in a padded cell right now with no release in sight. I don’t have her strength in that area.
Anyway… on to my humorous day….
So, for the first time in my life (since Chris has worked out of town) I did not take the phone into the bathroom with me this morning. And as usual, that’s when the drama strikes. For the 5 minutes I’m in the bathroom, I hear my house phone ring a total of 5 different times and I hear my cell phone ring a total of 4 different times. GRRR! Can’t even enjoy a nice potty break without someone annoying you.. I know TMI but… it goes with the story.. I head out of the bathroom with the 5th time my cell phone rings and answer with a “WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?” Karen is hysterical telling me I need to run to the bank and take out $475 out of my dads account and bring it down to the police station – Jeff’s been arrested and she needs the money! Oh god! What for? ….. And the laughter (rude but can’t be helped) starts on my part and I can’t stop laughing even now 10 hours later.. This began at 9am….
Apparently an arrest warrent was issued 10 days ago for Jeff due to an issue that happened over a year ago with Rent A Center and former room mates- I won’t go into detail but… OH LORD! You know how things just jump up and bite you on the ass? They should have been prepared for this… if it wasn’t this, it would have been because of their last set of roommates. They just can’t win with roommates! So, I tell Karen I’m not pulling money out of dad’s account without his permission. She tells me to get it and then get the money and bring it to her ASAP. Okay, so I call dad he gives me my permission, I take my shower, get dressed, go to the bank and head downtown. I’m there by 1015. I get a parking spot right outside the Sheriff’s office – I’m so proud. I only had 2 quarters with me – cause I’m an idiot and forgot to get more. I head in to the Police department and walk up to security. The cop on guard says..quite loudly… HELP YOU MA’AM? I quietly state, I’m here to get someone out of jail… he says, quite loudly- HUH? Speak up! I quietly but a bit louder say, I’m here to get someone out of jail… He then says LOUD! Oh, you need to bail someone out? You need to go to the next building to the jail! Oh my how embarrassing is that.. So, I have to walk all the way down to the end of the block (opposite my car) and head down this little creepy alley. I go in and ask what I’m supposed to do and they tell me they have no record of Jeff. GRRRR! So I ignore all the signs that say “no cell phone use” and call Karen to find out where the heck she is… Behind the building I started at… halfway back to my car… GRRRR! I end up sitting with her for 2 1/2 hours waiting for them to process Jeff so I can pay the bail. They had him under an alias so they couldn’t find him in the system. Why? No one knows..Why didn’t I just leave the money with Karen and go home you ask? Because Karen was afraid they had a warrent out for her arrest too! OH TOO PRICELESS! It’s not funny, but well… it is.. The things these two get into!! So we’re sitting there waiting on the steps at the police station…. and I see the bushes across from where I’m sitting moving. Since there is no wind, I’m ASSUMING it’s a squirrel or bird. NOPE…. It was a freaking rat the size of a small dog come running out!! Freaked the hell out of me. Karen didn’t believe me until the second one – slightly larger came running out across the sidewalk. Oh hell no, I’m so outta here! ICK! Finally after posting bail I leave Karen to her waiting and head out to do my errands. I talk to Karen a few times while she sits and waits for him to be released. 3:00 comes around and Karen calls telling me it’s time to laugh again (she’s seriously not amused with my humor). When she went out to add more quarters to the meter where their truck was parked… she was a few minutes late and her reward??? A $15 parking ticket. Her luck SUCKS! Jeff was finally released at 6pm and they are now safe and sound at home. This is one day for the books, it was just one constant comedy of issues.
As I wrote this, I had this serious sense of deja vu. It’s the weirdest thing… I think I dreamed of this a few months ago -Jeff getting arrested or Karen or someone.. Weird. I’m going to have to go back in my records and see. It would be too creepy if I did dream this because now not only would I have to worry about my “death” and “mom” dreams, I’ll now have to worry about all of them. Maybe I’ll never close my eyes again GRRR!
But I do have to say, today pulled me slightly out of my depression. I haven’t cracked up so much in months. The tears just keep falling cause I can’t stop laughing…I love my family, I love my family, I love my family……
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