Wow, I didn’t realize it’s been so long since my last post. I’ve been hiding in my cave for so long I forgot about the outside world. I’ve been on auto pilot for the past few weeks, only coming out to deal with Girl Scouts and festival stuff then hiding back in my cave curled up in a little ball.
Karen – update… Karen promised my dad that she’d pay him back the money she borrowed to get Jeff out of jail the same evening. As soon as Jeff got out of jail, they’d go to his parents and collect the money. It’s been several weeks and my dad still has not received a dime. He’s pissed, Karen’s in hiding and I’m stuck in the middle again. I HATE THIS! Jeff says after his parents paid to buy them a house and get them set up in said house they just couldn’t afford to hand out any more money. Hmm, I wonder what would have happened had my dad said no! Neither Karen or Jeff had a job so there was no chance of getting the money soon. April 6th was the court date. I was told by the officer at the jail that after that court date, I would get all dad’s money back (minus court costs) within 10-14 days. Well, on the 6th I called Karen to see what happened. I called several days after that including a call to Jeff’s parents. No one will give me an answer, so of course, dad is furious because he lost out on $500 and I’m furious because Karen keeps avoiding me and won’t answer my questions. Some days I really wish that instead of buying this new home we’d have done what we wanted to do and just pack up and head up north so I could get away from everyone, well from these issues at least.
Girl Scouts has been keeping me busy the last few weeks. Not only is our troop calendar filled with field trips, community service, ceremonies and trainings but I’ve been swamped with dealing with my other 5 troops I coach and dealing with Service Team events and Service Unit events. I really think I need to bring a sock or duct tape to my meetings because I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. I was stupid enough to not only volunteer to continue being a coach next year, but I also volunteered to be the secretary for our Service Team and Service Unit. Which means I’ll have to attend more meetings since I’ll be the one taking minutes. OH GOD WHEN WILL I LEARN TO SHUT UP! Michelle (my co-leader) swears she can’t take me anywhere without me volunteering myself or our troop for something. GRRR!
Becca is doing well in school. She ended up with 4 A’s and 2 B’s on her report card. It was a struggle but she did great bringing her grades up. So far this quarter she’s doing an awesome job. She’s back to focusing more on her studies than the drama around her. I’m so proud of her.
Liz is getting ready for her trip to China. She’s really excited except that dad informed her that since she’s going to China she may not be able to come down here for the summer like she always does. She actually told him she’d give up her China trip! That’s $8000 down the drain. Of course, he knows it’d break my heart if she didn’t come down here to visit me so I’m sure we’ll work something out.
Festival, well, I won’t say much about that since Chris already posted pretty much what I could say. It was fun, it was disappointing, it was not surprising. My desserts were a hit, though it took a long time for them to be devoured. I loosened up quite a bit Friday night and actually danced around like a fool and sang along with the music.That was a first for me, because I’d rather just stand in the background and watch what’s going on than make a spectacle of myself. I had a wonderful time seeing friends we hadn’t seen in like FOREVER. JEANIE it was awesome to see you and meet Tim and the girls!!!! We MISS AND LOVE YOU!! and it was great hooking up with friends we just never have time to sit down and hang with. Saturday – well, lets just not even mention it because it’ll just get me going again…Where the hell did all these tears come from??? I HATE CRYING!! Needless to say, I humiliated myself, embarrassed myself and made a fool of myself. I should learn to shut up and mind my own business! Enough said! Sunday, I was a total wreck and we left immediately after breaking camp. So I have to apologize to all those we didn’t get to say goodbye to and to apologize to those we did say goodbye to and I blubbered all over and of course to Chris who handled me quite well and didn’t get mad at me for having to cut short his one “vacation” festival! It was great to see you all, and hopefully with luck we won’t have to wait so long to see you again.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I already said I’m sorry to you personally, but it bears repeating. I’m sorry that I was the instigator of all that. I should have ignored that I was lied to and just moved on, it was, after all, just a little thing with little or no meaning in the larger pictur and there was no chance that the situation that offered the opportunity for that lie to reoccur, after all.
It was not fair to you, others in your camp, nor the festival at large. So again, I apologize to you Chris, Becca, and those other people who were afflicted and affected with all that bad behavior because I didn’t just let it go like so many other times in the past. I understand that I’m not responsible for anothers bad behavior, but I also understand when that childishness was a direct result of a choice I made. If I had it all to do over, I’d have let that lie pass, and we all would have been the happier for it.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 am
Dude! “It’s not all about you!” (BIG smile!)
You shouldn’t have to worry about the implications of calling someone out for something like that. Whatever the original issue was, if I cause a problem, you should call me out on it without having to calculate my personal issues. I shouldn’t be given a pass on repeated bad behavior just because I’m having a bad day or because I don’t handle criticism well. (You people never seem to have a problem calling me out on MY shit…)
I get what you are saying about picking your battles and that you wish you hadn’t chosen this one because of the fallout. I disagree, but I get it. I don’t think you could have seen this kind of complication coming and there are many other factors that caused this.
I believe the ultimate issue is an inability to admit pain/hurt. I could be wrong, but that’s how I see it. The “I’m so tough you can’t hurt me” persona is the source of the lashing out AND the refusal to admit that T got caught in the crossfire. The tank treads just rolled over her, ground her up and never looked back.
So it’s nothing you did. I think it’s something someone else refuses to do, and that’s break down and talk.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Though I was NOT there, I must say a few words. Tis always best to confront immediatly…this “I” know all to well. Wade, you learned from some past lesson not to wait and wait you did not. Now nothing is stewing in the pot to be served up at a later date to make everyone sick again. I commend you for attacking the matter immediatly. Yes we all should “choose our battles wisely” and I believe you made the right choice.
Loving you all,
Lena