I don’t know if these two things are related or not, but they seem to be.
I’ve been cruising around the local musician websites and forums lately looking for an opportunity to play with someone else. I’m not looking to be in a full-time band, I’m just looking for a couple of people that want to play music on a semi-regular basis. Playing my drums to my headphones just has no love in it. I want to play live music again.
I have no illusions about myself. There are has-beens and there are never-was’. I’m neither, I’m a never-tried. But I still like to play and if I may say so myself, I’m still decent enough to put on a good show. But the local on-line scene seems to be full of people looking for instant stardom or nasty people looking to start flame wars and piss on others dreams. So I’m still looking but I’m kind of giving up hope.
I’ve also been looking at a lot of pictures and reading comments on Facebook groups dedicated to the “good old days” when we were just out of high school and I spent more time out at Jax Beach than I did at home. Everyone was in a band or between bands or helping their friend’s band. Poor Teresa, she spent many a weekend on Peeler’s deck and at John’s Garage just because she wanted to be with me and I wanted to be around the music scene… So a lot of those old memories are coming back to me now.
And then last night I had a dream.
We stopped in to a small convenience store to buy some drinks. I had Becca with me and in the dream she was still about six or seven years old. She picked out her soda bottle and I let her carry it to the register. She could barely see over the counter top. About that time I heard music coming from the back room of the convenience store. The door opened and I saw a recording studio in the back. I was about to ask the cashier about it when the front door jingled and in walked a dozen rock-n-roll idols from my childhood. They were older but still recognizable. As they walked past us they were rough and loud, sometimes brushing me and Becca hard up against the counter. I was getting angry and one of them recognized me as if I used to be one of them. They asked what I was doing now and all of them turned and laughed at me. They pointed at Becca and yelled, “Ha! Look what you’ve become. A fat, corporate, family man!” I told them that I was happy with who I was and they laughed louder.
I paid for the drinks and we walked out of the store hearing the laughter fade as we closed the doors. Becca asked, “Who were they Daddy?” I said, “Ghosts baby. Just ghosts.” I locked the door from the outside and put a railroad tie across the doors (these things just make sense in dreams). Then I leaned down and produced a box of old fashioned stick matches. I pulled one out and taught Becca how to light it. She got it lit on the third try and we brought it over to the locked doors. The whole interior of the store instantly went up in flames.
Becca and I sat down on the curb with our backs to the door. We smiled and drank our soda pop through bendy straws while everyone inside screamed and banged on the doors trying to get out.
Two thoughts went through my mind;
1: I love my family and I wouldn’t trade a minute with them for any amount of stardom.
2: This image would make a great album cover.
All the Oscar talk (BTW, I cheated and looked up the winners after yesterday’s post, I was almost right. ‘Inglorious Basterds’ is not exactly an emotional movie but I got the rest of them right…) got me thinking about what makes someone famous. I’ve bitched about that before so I won’t go into that right here. But then I listened to a podcast that mentioned how Johnny Depp can’t go to Disneyland with his kids because he gets mobbed. That must suck. I’m sure it’s great to be Johnny Depp, except for shit like that…
If you were famous, how much interaction would you want with your fans?
I’ve met a few famous people and I always downplay it so I don’t bother the person. Sometimes I won’t even go over to the person (which is not technically meeting them then is it?) At a meet/greet I’m there shaking hands, whatever. But if no one else is bothering them, I’ll just nod and smile. Acknowledging that I recognize them and that I appreciate their work. If I do actually “meet” them, I keep it calm and brief. If it’s a lesser known celebrity and they don’t appear busy, I might talk for a few seconds but then I get out of there. These people have lives too. Many of them have things to do. And honestly, what are the odds you say something they don’t always hear? It has to suck being uber-famous.
I mean really, which of these scenarios is more reasonable behavior?
- “Holy shit! It’s Ron Jeremy!” [runs over to him, panting and gasping] “Golly Mr. Jeremy I sure do love your work. The first porno I remember seeing is an old VHS copy of ‘The Devil in Miss Jones 3′ that my friends all passed around. You sure looked terrific in that movie Mr. Jeremy, all dressed up in that diaper and baby doll bib. Will you autograph my cast?”
- A simple “Mr. Jeremy” and a nod/wink in his direction as he walks on by.
The second choice says all the above without causing a scene. BUT, what if you are the celebrity and suddenly no one mobbed you when you went down to the local Starbucks? Would you feel unappreciated? Would you feel like your time is over, your star is sinking and maybe it’s time to retire? I don’t know. I just gotta think we should leave these people alone man. Let them live their lives.
And really, that baby doll scene in TDIMJ3 is fucking disturbing…
Well we made it through the year. Early last year (2009) Teresa and I set our goals on bringing me home by 2010. We would save up the money, get the finances ready because we knew I’d have to take an enormous paycut to do that. They pay us well for living on the road… And suddenly, as if by magick, divine intervention, dumb luck or manifestation of will, the job fell in my lap and I came home; A FULL YEAR EARLIER than expected.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it right? I was selfish and jumped at the chance to come home and be with my family. BUT, we were not financially prepared for just HOW much less I would make. I still make a very decent salary (obscene money considering how often I’m home before 3pm) but the money and perks on the road were just THAT much greater.
With all the financial burdens and the fact that we had moved out to the middle of nowhere, we had effectively exiled ourselves. We were so broke that even paying for the gasoline to travel across the bridge to simply “hang out” was too expensive. It was a crushing year. All we heard, all year long, was “wait until January.” What a shitty mantra. If we could make it through to January, we’d be okay. January turned to February and now we’re into March. But there is a light.
We’re the dumbasses that use our tax return as a forced savings account. We KNOW that if we have it all year long, we’ll spend it all year long, probably on crap like McDonald’s… But we overpay all year and when tax time comes, we get a small pile back. Not the best financial exercise but the most practical one for us.
And that pile has arrived. We splurged a bit. We went out to dinner once and we bought some shelving units for the garage. But this is our last chance. If we screw up now, we’ll sink. We’ll take the money, pay off the remaining bills, roll those payments back into the other bills and by this time next year, be free and clear of the debt that is hanging us up by our toes. We’ll still have the house payment and utilities and such, but all the biting little loans and credit cards will be gone. If we go out and buy that nice television I’ve been planning on mounting in the living room for the last two years, we won’t get those bills paid off and we’ll be back in the same boat, waiting on January again.
Teresa is making the attempt to thin out her responsibilities (although I think she’s getting talked back into a few of them dammit!!!) and by June, we should be back to normal (whatever “normal” is). We’ll be free to go where we want and we’ll be able to afford to go. Trying to fly at the speed of light between all these events and obligations is kind of like trying to successfully navigate an asteroid field (odds 3720:1) but its a lot more fun when those events and obligations are things we actually WANT to do.
I think that even though we can’t get that TV, we might be able to (through sheer necessity and emotional exhaustion) take a small break. Maybe go for a trip, a long weekend somewhere. Put our toes in the sand and put a drink in our hand… An overnight trip somewhere may not sound like much to the rest of you but a full weekend away from the house, away from scouts, away from work and school… It’s about the best we can hope for right now and honestly, it sounds like paradise. So enjoy your week-long vacations, your regular getaways, your big televisions and your new toys, we’re just hoping for 48hours of peace before we have to climb back into the machine and push on for another year. Maybe next year we’ll get back to going on real vacations. For now, if we get those 48hours, we’ll be happy.
We interrupt this season of darkness and despair to bring you a special report:
I woke up from some wonderful dreams this morning. They were filled with lots of hugs and some kissing (and that’s ALL!!!!) But as with most dreams, we were interrupted and never found a way back to them.
I really miss some of you out there…