Last night we went out for Chinese food.  I love fried dumplings.  As I turned one over and picked it up with my chopsticks I saw that it looked JUST like the symbol for Wedjat (the Egyptian Eye of Horus).

It was cool looking.  I pondered this for just about as long as it takes me to lift a dumpling from the plate to my mouth.  I didn’t take a picture of it, I didn’t sell it on e-Bay, I didn’t think it was a miracle.  Hell, it was barely even worth mentioning to the other people at the table.

Just who are these people that see Jesus in a piece of toast, the Virgin Mary in a blueberry muffin or Xenu in a taco?  I see an ancient goddess in a dumpling and it’s cute.  They see an ancient god in a road sign and it’s a miracle that changes their life!

What’s the ranking system for delusional imaging?  Who rates?  The Tinker Toys forming the boogyman under your bed or your old prom dress looking like a Saint protecting you from your bedroom closet.  An ancient face on the surface of Mars, a Jesus-shaped oil stain in your driveway.  Demonic face in the 9/11 clouds, a standing cross in the 9/11 debris field…

And imagine that, two 110 story buildings filled with straight lines and almost nothing BUT perpendicular crossbeams and somehow the symbol of the Christian cross just happened to show up in the rubble.  What are the odds?  Fuck that, what are the odds of it NOT happening…

There’s a Rush lyric playing through my head, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Some people really want you to be happy.  Some people are willing to forego their own desires in an attempt to make you happy.  This can be very sweet, this can be really annoying.  Especially when you get several of these people in the same room and ask for a decision.  It can actually turn ugly.

When everyone wants everyone else to be happy, it can turn into a pretty miserable experience.  One of constant second-guessing and hesitation.  Sometimes this is the actions of the aggressive pleaser and sometimes the answer really is, “I don’t have a preference.”

So when the day gives you a late start, born of passive individuals with an insufficient agenda, it’s up to you to decide if the person is naturally passive or is really just out of ideas for the moment.  And then it’s up to you to take charge, make a decision.

And when someone complains that they didn’t enjoy themselves, that they have more fun elsewhere, it’s up to you to say, “Fuck ‘em, should have spoken up when I asked.  At least I enjoyed myself.”

You can not be responsible for every non-decisive person’s happiness if they won’t let you.

You know why I love you?  Yes, you!  The one who still reads this drivel…

I love you because we understand each other.  I spout off, I say nasty things, I make wild exaggerations, gross generalizations…

I say, “Fuck all the people in the world with food allergies!” and though a single peanut could kill you, you know I don’t mean “fuck you”.
I say, “Let’s kill all the lawyers!” and though you spent years studying and just passed the bar exam, you don’t object to my outburst.
I say, “People suck!” and you agree with me that yes, some people do suck and you also know I agree with you that most people are alright.

You hear me rant and you just smile and quietly say to yourself, “Later on, he’ll calm down and realize just how silly he sounds right now.”

Thanks for knowing me better than I know myself…

You ever feel like you’re in a glass jar, floating in some kind of clear liquid, watching yourself from afar?

You ever want to sit up all night and watch yourself wake up in the morning?

Have the gods, the fates and all random actions conspired against you to keep you silent?  You know they can’t right?

Where is my permanent record?  The one they kept telling me they were recording and filing my every wrong move?

I am just like you.  Our differences are superficial.  I look different, I kiss differently, I may even smell funny to you.  But we’re both floating along, unaware of how little it takes to be happy and how insignificant we are.  If we truly don’t matter in the grand scheme of the universe, then why would it matter if we were happy or sad?  And if it doesn’t matter…  Then why choose to be sad?

Most times, it’s not as easy as just choosing to be happy.

But then sometimes it really is

just

that

easy…

Everyone goes through cycles.  Up, down, round and round…  We pivot and shift but in the end we don’t stray far from where we started.

My peaks and valleys come and go.  I am alone at the highest pinnacle and lowest troughs.  Sometimes people stick with me through the small fluctuations, sometimes they write me off at the smallest speedbump.  But that’s normal, I probably do the same.

If you tracked the progression of the wave, my frequency has increased.  I’m finding that the more time I spend in the world (watching the “news” or wasting seconds turned minutes on Facebook) the more I become disillusioned with our fellow earthmates.

I’m sick of people.  I don’t want to believe that the image I have of them is true but they keep reinforcing it with their inane babble, their greed and their complete lack of any form of civilized behavior.  I am tired of seeing the truth.

I believe in the human race that exists in novels.  I want to believe that we are a species worth saving.  I also want to believe in Invisible Pink Floating Unicorns…  Sadly, I see no evidence guiding me to think any of this is true.  People are flawed.  People can be both good and bad, people can be helpful and selfish.  There is nothing special about Mankind.  We are a random, chaotic and self-absorbed infection in the universe.

I see no reason why anything should mourn our extinction…

I was never a true comic geek.  I knew the basics, I knew the big titles, that’s about it.  I hung out with a friend while he worked at “Universe of Superheroes” and I got into some of the less mainstream comics like Poison Elves, Lady Death, Milk & Cheese.  The big DC and Marvel worlds were limited to checking out the older stuff like the Dark Knight, Killing Joke, Dark Phoenix Saga, Venom and Carnage titles.  This is also when I first read V for Vendetta.

So for all that time in the shop, I picked up a little bit of comic culture.  My limited knowledge allowed me to blend into the background just enough that I wasn’t always standing there staring at the geeks like Penny from The Big Bang Theory.  I knew there were worlds upon worlds upon worlds and that any storyline can be retconned.  But I also picked up on the Bucky clause.

“No one stays dead except Bucky, Jason Todd and Uncle Ben.“

Batman died?  He’ll be back.  Superman died?  He’ll return.  Anyone can die and everyone comes back to life.  Everyone except Bucky (Captain America’s sidekick), Jason Todd (The second Robin) and Uncle Ben (Spiderman’s father figure).  Any knowledge of the comics world expires the moment you learn it.  It’s like buying a new computer; it’s obsolete before you get it out of the box.  But the Bucky Clause has held up.

With the Avengers movie coming up, Teresa showed a bit of interest in it and I asked if she wanted to see the movies leading up to it.  She’s seen Iron Man (great movie) and I don’t see the need to ever sit through Iron Man 2 again (disappointing).  Before we watched Thor, I gave her the basic rundown of the character, the geek intro if you will.  His earth bound name, some basic Norse mythos, the importance of some of the artifacts we’ll be seeing…  Just getting her caught up so she can enjoy some of the “in jokes”.

After watching Thor, Teresa and I agreed on two things; Chris Hemsworth is one SEXY looking motherfucker!!!  And, Natalie Portman should find a time machine, travel back to 1995 and pick a new career.  Maybe stenography.  Maybe something more dangerous where a workplace accident could happen…  (I pick 1995 because Leon [1994] is a pretty damn good movie)  Seriously, she is terrible.  It’s not just the lines she’s given, she’s got no sense of delivery.  She’s unbelievable and sucks the life out of any scene she’s in.  I fucking hate her.

Thor is growing on me and I’ve come around to it.  I always want a dark and gritty viking-age movie but that’s not what the comic was.  So when I watch the movie for itself, I really like it!  But, with Sif already established as a character and with Portman returning in Thor 2, I’m not so excited about the sequel.  I mean, it’s like Padme was added in as an afterthought.  She could have been completely written out of Thor 1.  Bootstrap Bill could have been the main scientist, there was no need to bring in a dishrag actor as a love interest.  Sif is RIGHT THERE goddammit!

Alright, enough of that… so, then we watched Captain America.  My first failing is in my geek prep for Teresa.  She corrects me and says, “No, Steve Austin is the Six Million Dollar Man, you mean Steve Rogers.”  Okay well shit, she’s sandbagging me.  She knows more than she’s letting on.  I guess there’s no more need for backstory, let’s just watch the movie.  When they introduced Bucky I tell her about The Rule.  I’m not sure what they’re going to do with it as he’s not the teenage sidekick but when he falls from that train and off the cliff, I’m confident that they will keep him dead.

Then I looked it up this morning.  My knowledge has expired.  I haven’t been around the comic shop since the mid 90′s.  Last I knew, “Bucky stays dead” was still in effect.  It’s not.  In 2006 they brought back ALL 3 of the exceptions!

Todd came back as the Red Hood and there are now several alt-universes where Uncle Ben never died.  Bucky comes back as The Winter Soldier and then takes over as Captain America when they (temporarily) kill off Steve Rogers.  I need to read  some of the new titles, Winter Soldier sounds interesting.

I also read that the actor who played Bucky has a multi-film deal to play in Marvel movies.  So, I guess sometimes, Bucky does come back and every rule can be broken…

I was working on a post that raged against the improper usage of common words.  The “Dictionary; buy one, use one” post  has been languishing in my “drafts” folder for a few weeks.  I was set to rage on words like;

Unique does not need to be modified.  ”Really unique” or “kind of unique” just makes me hate you!

Accident means you did not intend to cause the outcome, the word itself does not automatically absolve you of any responsibility for that outcome.

Racist and bigot are not the same word.

I was ready to get on my soapbox and (hypocritically) bitch about the misuse of language.

But then I read this article on the modification of language and it took all the wind out of my sails.  Apparently it’s now okay to just change the meaning of words based on common use (or misuse) and if you correct someone, you’re a dick.

Decimate and Nauseous were on my list.  This sucks…

Do grey hairs die and fall out faster than regular hair?

Every time I see a single strand of bright white in my hair I get excited.  I hope it sticks around, maybe convinces its neighbours to shed their pigment.  I want it to grow into a wide patch of grey and stick out as a contrast against the rest of my hair.  I have the same hopes when that occasional copper-colored strand shows up in my beard.

Then the next morning I look in the mirror and its gone.

Disappointing…

It snowed yesterday up in Pennsylvania where I’m planning on building my house.  We’re not talking about a freak flurry where you see three or four flakes falling from the sky and say, “Hey, it’s snowing!?”  Sure, for late April, snow is freakish weather but I mean it SNOWED yesterday.  It stuck on the ground and everything…

I remember it snowing during Easter-time (while thunder and lightning) back when I was a kid (1983?) so it’s not unheard of but hey, even without the snow, I want the cooler temperatures.  I want to trade this eternal summer/week of winter for the opposite.  I’ll deal with a week of summer if you promise me I’ll need a jacket for most of spring and autumn…

I am living in the wrong part of the country.  Soon, I shall remedy this depressing problem…

Okay, this one’s a little crude.  The more sensitive reader (or anyone who still believes I’m above 3rd grade potty humor) may want to skip this one…

“Girl I’m gonna make you sweat

If you cry out, I’m gonna push it some more

I’m looking in your big browneye…”

It’s in my occasional random playlist and while I’ve heard the song a hundred times, I payed attention to the lyrics for the first time this weekend…

Am I just figuring out what Bob Marley was singing about or has everyone always known this song is about fucking a girl in the ass?